Navigating Marital Challenges: Lack of Romance, Conflict & Intimacy

Question
IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE WE ARE MARRIED.AND WE HAVE A 1 YEAR BABY.WE STAY SEPARATELY FROM MY PARENTS AND BABY TOO STAY WITH HIS GRAND PARENTS.IM 20 AND MY HUSBAND IS 31 AGE OLD.MY PROBLEM IS MY HUSBAND UNROMANTIC.HE HATES FRENCH KISS.HE ALWAYS IRRITATED WITH ME.ALWAYS FINDS A REASON TO FIGHT.AND HE FEELS WHATEVER HE DOES IS ALWAYS RIGHT.OUR MARRIAGE LIFE LACKS SEX LIFE.HES NOT INTERESTED.MAY BE ONCE IN A MONTH OR TWICE IN 2 MONTHS.JUST THE SAME WAY THE SAME THING .AND SLEEPS ONCE ITS FINISHED.I HAVE TRIED TALKING ABOUT THIS BUT ITS UTTER FAILURE.WE HAD ARRANGED MARRIAGE.DURING OUR ENGAGEMENT TIME HE WAS SO ROMANTIC PERSON IN TALKING AND HE LIKED FRENCH KISS TOO.NOW HE EVEN DOESN`T WANT TO THINK OF THOSE DAYS.WHAT SHOULD I DO TO IMPROVE MY MARRAIGE LIFE???

Answer
Hi Rose~

Maybe after the marriage he just gave up and got used to being married so he's comfortable and now he doesn't have to work as hard, since he was courting you before marriage.  And this is why he's acting this way and not interested in sex much, doesn't want to french kiss, etc.  This can happen once a person is settled into marriage and becomes accustomed to married life, the romantic things go right out the window and they stop doing the things they used to before, etc.  You're doing the right thing by attempting to talk to him and work this out.  He has to be a willing participant though, you can't do this all by yourself.  A marriage is a partnership, not one person working hard and doing everything while the other one slacks off.  There's probably nothing more you can do, you've tried talking to him, getting him to be more romantic, to kiss you passionately, etc but for some reason it's not working.  And he doesn't want to listen to what you have to say either.  It seems as though you're trying in vain and all your efforts are falling on deaf ears, not a good thing, especially when you're trying so hard.  I suppose only time will truly tell what's going to happen.  But you're really doing everything right and that you can to make this work, but he's not.  I guess you could try to talk to him again and see if he'll actually listen and hear you out, maybe you could explain in detail to him, and ask him how would this make him feel if he were in your shoes, and he wanted sex, to be affectionate, kisses, etc but you ignored him and weren't interested in any of that.  How would this make him feel?  And what would he want you to do about this?  The worst reaction you'll get will him dismissing your pleas of paying more attention to you and he'll keep doing what he's doing b/c it works for him.  Hopefully he'll be willing at least listen to these issues you're having with him and you can somehow come to a compromise to work this out.