QuestionHello Mr Keeran,
Ill get straight to the point, Im in my second marriage and my current wife from japan of 8 months has become very jealouse of my kids from my last marriage. Im 29 and shes 25, my kids are 9 & 5. She recently asked what I would do if she asked me not to see them anymore and I said Divorce. I really dont want to, but I cant turn my back on my kids. Also on more than one occassion she said to be fair can she be imprgegnanted by a spermbank dohnor just to make things fair. So she will have a kid from someone else since I have kids from someone else!! She can be very selfish and immature at times. How can someone think this way? Her paprents are still together but dont speak to one another. I asked her before we married if me havings kids would be a issue and she was reluctant at first but then said no. I wouldnt have married if i knew she would turn into this type of person. Why is she thinking like this and will she grow out of this or what? Thoughts Please!!
AnswerTry empathizing with her as much as possible by saying, "Maybe you feel left out because I have other children from another woman. It makes sense you would feel that way. What can I do to help you feel better?"
Reassure her as often as needed by saying, "I want to have children with you. You are most important to me. I love you."
Avoid ever saying the word "divorce". She may be very sensitive to a fear of loss of caring because of her parents' distancing.
Be sure to show her every consideration and frequent affection and also learn her love language such as perhaps gifts, flowers, compliments, dates, etc.
See http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeutic-statements/dp/1442
