QuestionI've been married for 21 years. I have 3 children, I successfully completed nearly 25 years of active duty in the military and I am generally a very happy person. I love my children dearly. I don't cheat on my wife, nor have I, and I consider myself to be a good husband and citizen.
I knew she was seeing another guy when we met, but we really seemed to hit it off. After we had been dating (exclusively) for about 3 or 4 months, I went home on leave and left her my car. She called me while I was home and told me she thought she might be pregnant. Upon my return, she informed me that her "friend" had asked her to dinner, and that she had spent some time at his apartment, but nothing happened (sexually).
Now, 20-some years later, she tells me she made out with the guy at his apartment, took her clothing off and spent the night with him in his bed, and expects me to believe they didn't have sex. She also claims she told the guy all about me "to see what his reaction would be."
Here's my question: Do I have a right to be upset about this? I realize we've raised a family together and I truly do love her, but I just can't believe this. I'm fairly certain she had sex with the guy while she was pregnant with my child, but she adamantly sticks to her story. When I mentioned that she adds a new wrinkle to this story every time we talk about it, her response was "Stop asking questions."
Any advice?
AnswerHi Dale~
Of course, you have every right to be upset about what she's just told you. It's devastating and shocking for anyone to hear. But asking questions all the time, isn't going to make you feel any better or or give you closure about the situation that happened. So it's probably a good idea to just drop it, at least for the time being. It's going to take you a while to get over this (if you can) and to move past. And even though this happened many, many years ago, it's still a betrayal in the relationship. You now have to figure out how to cope with this situation and try moving forward with your life.
