Questionhi Kiya
one last question on this topic? My previous question is
listed at the bottom of this email. Will this problem
get better if i do not act defensive. It has definitely gotten better..
I would just like to ask you ...how would I not GET DEFENSIVE. I will describe a scenario..lets say we went to
a dinner and when we come back she will get all upset and
tells me that I kept looking at that women like I am hitting on her and all my attention was on that women..
HOW SHOULD I approach this situation WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE? Sorry If my mail is dumb. WOuld be really
helpful if you could describe how I would not act defenisve. Should I tell her I was not looking or I was
looking.. also IF I am not looking at that women she mentioned
thanks
Gopal
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Question was
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Marriage-3223/follow-wife-thinks-look.htm
and answer from you was
Answer
Dear Gopal,
The best thing for you to do is to make her feel loved and give her as much attention as possible, especially when those other women are around. Hold her hand, show her affection and smile at her without looking at the other woman. If you do this in front of the other attractive women that you see, your wife will feel more secure and loved by you. Also, if she does bring up the issue of you looking at another woman, be calm and loving. Tell her how much you love her and that you would never consider being with someone else. Hold her and tell her how much she means to you. Give her compliments and make her feel like she is much better than any other woman walking down the street. Never get defensive; otherwise she will become even more hurt and distraught. It is wonderful that you want to alleviate this situation. Keep up the good work!
Kiya
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Marriage-3223/follow-wife-thinks-look.htm
AnswerHi Gopal,
When I said to never get defensive, I just meant to never get mad if she brings up another woman that she believes you were looking at. When she brings up this issue, just tell her that it is not true and that she is the most beautiful woman on this earth. Be affectionate and loving and calmly tell her that she is the only woman that you will ever love. I know that it is hard to not get angry when you in fact were not looking at a woman, but she will believe in you more if you just stay calm and relaxed about everything. You may want to show your hurt feelings when she says this and tell her that you would never do anything to hurt her. When you are around her, make it a point to not look in the direction of an attractive woman or even look in the vicinity of an attractive woman. Never tell her that you have or had looked at anyone other than her. She will never forget it and the trust between the two of you will become even more delicate. Try to build the trust by doing what you say and becoming strongly dedicated to her. Ask her to spend a couple hours a week to communicate all about the relationship that you both have. Talk about the positives and the negatives and how you can improve your time together and what you can do for one another to make the other more happy. Talks like these can help relationships and marriages immensely. Please write back if you have any other questions! Take care! Also thanks for the wonderful feedback! It is much appreciated!
Kiya
