QuestionI am having dreams and fantasies about an ex boyfriend. I dream about him maybe 2-3 times a month and I cannot stop thinking about him. I am married to my husband, Adam, and we've been married for almost three years. The thing is, I broke up with my ex boyfriend, Rob, just as I met my current husband, and I broke up with Rob only because I knew he would never marry me. So now, three years later, I am constantly crying myself to sleep, experiencing this extreme desire for my ex, because I feel as though I still love him very deeply. Don't get me wrong... my husband Adam is a kind, loving man who works hard and respects me. But it isn't the same, passionate, crazy love I experienced with Rob, and I feel terribly guilty for craving my ex. What on earth is wrong with me and how do I make this torture stop?
AnswerJ,
At one time or another we all fall victim to dreaming about the olden days. Things seemed so much easier and simpler then, we think. Perhaps they were, less complicated times, but for whatever reason we've moved past them now. Think of where you are now and the cares and worries you have, someday these will be the good old days. You've heard the saying you can never go back. The reason is you are not the same person you were then as well as Rob probably isn't either. If you were to run off and have an affair, afterwards you would be left with a hollow and unfulfilled "why did I do it" feelings, trust me. I married my wife after dating most all of her cousins, she was the last in a long line. Some I drifted away from some dumped me. I see them one and all at most family functions, and still have a familiarity and fondness for them all. After 30 years of knowing them all, I look back on my olden days, I'm quite sure I picked and married the "right" one out of the bunch. Why did it happen? Destiny I guess maybe, or perhaps I evolved from one to the next. So as you think back, remember, something happened to make you decide to move on. You have to trust your decisions,and keep old Rob as something special, in a time a long time ago...
Time will help,
Bill
