Navigating Post-Wedding Disappointment: Seeking Support & Clarity

Question
Okay,  I wrote to you not long ago and I just read your responce.  I had said that I was getting married and that even though I had doubts I was doing it.  The reasons I did it are that I love (not in love) him.  He is important to me and I said that I would.  Before the wedding I got dizzy and passed out on the kitchen floor.  since it has been a mess.  I cried on my wedding night.  I have told him that being with him doesn't make me happy.  And apprrently my word no longer means anything because I married him without wanting to spend the rest of my life with him.  He threatens me with our son.  And the problem that I have with telling him that I want to be with women is that I have done that too him before.  When we first got together and I got pregnant I broke it off with him for that reason and again recently we broke up and I had a bit of a thing with a woman (not the woman that I spoke of in the other question<--I have a deeper connection with her I spent 3 of the days my now husbend were broken up at her house and we made other things priority).  yesterday we had a blow out.  It was sudjested that we go to a lawer and get seperated..... which I was up for I don't need the verbal abuse that I get..... I may not have done things in the best way but I can't be so bad if he still wants to be with me.  Instead he ended up wanting to go to a butterfly conservatory.  It was nice but then this morning he was super sencitive..... I am well aware of how a tone can change a question so as if I was asking 'so what are you doing today?' I asked him 'what is this towel doing on the bed?' It was the towel he had dried himself with after having a shower.  I drive him to work in the morning and he had his lunch on the dash.  He often picks on my driving.. his lunch wasn't balanced and it would move when I turned a corner so I asked him if he was trying to make me feel bad about my driving.  andI asked him if I could hold his lunch and he started yelling at me about how mean I was being .... I have been married a week .... I need someone to talk to and I called some one to look into a seperation.... I feel rediculus

Answer
Dear D,
It sounds as if you are finding reasons so that you do not have to be emotionally close to him. He has got you wrapped around his finger because of his control by using your son. He threatens you(I truly thinks he knows you like women and doesn't want to admit it), you pull away and it turns into a vicious cycle. You need to get separated and then do your best to hold your ground so that you can get custody of your child. If I were you, I wouldn't tell anyone that you are a lesbian until your custody battle is over. I would divorce, find a place to raise your son on your own and then do all you can to get at least partial custody and then pursue your new life when all is done.
Take care!
Kiya