Dealing with Infidelity: When to Consider Divorce

Question
I have been dealing with my husband's co-worker calling him on his cell phone for 4 years. I have talked to him an many occasions and told him that it bothers me and his reply was that he would tell her to stop calling. The other night I went with my husband to one of his co-workers' B-day party and while there I found out that he had his picture taken at his job with this woman's red hair on top of his head. I was so upset that I told him I wanted a divorce. He knows that I do not like this person because of all the phone calls but I feel he is disregarding my feelings on this matter. I take my marriage serious and I would never let another man invade my personal space especially if I new it would hurt my husband. Please tell me if I am being selfish because right now I just don't want to be with him anymore..

Answer
Well you've probably suffered with it long enough. People that like to make their spouses angry or insecure really have no feelings or misplaced feelings for them. Marriages that survive are filled with negotiations, give and takes, and both partners are supposed to walk away winners, equally in the long run, not always losing battles. Whether he has been unfaithful or not, who knows, I tend to think yes, but once a person gets to where you're at, it really doesn't matter. Counceling may help, but I tend to think, not, both sides really have to work to make it worth it. So no you are selfish, just think it through so you aren't worse off.

Bill