Navigating Co-Parenting Challenges: A Relationship Perspective

Question
I'll make this short and sweet. I have been w/ my fiance for 4 years his ex-wife was trying to rekindle things in the beginning and it came to a stop, sort of. The first x-mas I was w/ him I helped his 2 kids make something for their mom for x-mas, she came to and told me never to do that again. Now 4 years later fathers day is on sunday and his kids 6 & 8 yrs old told me that their mom is baking him cookies and enpanathas because he likes them. Now last year when she had a b/f she did nothing of sort. Maybe I'm just overreacting but this is total disrespect to me by "baking" him cookies. This is not a present for the kids this is from her. If she was to have the kids make him something or buy a tie thats fine. But the kids are w/ us all weekend and she is going to do this by herself. I don't know what to tell her but this is just crossing the line.

Answer
Hi Holly~

I totally agree with you on this.  She's completely out of line, by doing this.  She's no longer with him anymore, why does she need to make/do anything for him to begin with?!  My hunch is that she's trying to get back at you b/c she knows that it'll piss you off.  Not to mention it's kind of a pay back (of sorts) for you when you made something with the children from her.  However, her intentions are to get revenge.  Which is utter and complete BS.  But whatever.  

You need to have a serious heart to heart with your husband.  He needs to make this crystal clear to her, that her actions are not acceptable, and that she's not to do this again.  He's with you and loves you, what they had is just that, in the past and no more.  If he didn't put her in her place, frankly I would be pissed, and take it upon myself to say something to her, since she obviously had no problems tell you before.