QuestionHello this is mili,
I know i have a wiered kind of question,But ultimately after getting frustrated i searched that i can get some help on Internet.
My problem is,
We got married 3 years back.though my husband says he loves me but i don't have faith in what he says.This is due to the fact that he never likes to be with me alone.
In the first two years of marriage everything was fine..but after that it went on decreasing.he likes to be with his friends, his brother and bother's wife, his mother,he likes infact loves to go anywhere out with them, but when it comes to go alone with me, he never denies but goes with me like a burden.
Its not that i don't look good,infact i look better than him . I try to keep myself fit, beautiful, slim but that too doesn't help.
regarding sex, he used to be crazy but that was for just 2 years after marriage..now the situation is we have it once in two weeks.
He can purchase anything for me.but he never understands that i dont need things.I need love.intimacy .LOVE does not means just sex.Love is to be with someone, to spend a evening alone with someone, to go for a candle light dinner.He thinks these talks to be fairy tale dreams.
After a long time he said we will go alone to Flagstaff(a place in AZ) . I was so happy i thought he still loves me and has made a plan to go with me, BUT when he came to know that his friend is also going he told them we will come with them.
Please Help.
Thanks in advance.
He never wants to take me alone.
AnswerHi Mili,
Let me guess.........He likes you to cater to him though, right?
I think that you perhaps are being taken for granted. There are periods in marriage where one of the partners seems to believe that the courtship is over. You have to make him understand that your marriage is a work in progress and no one gave him a simple 2 year mandate.
You have a right to be alone and doing things with him, and you need to make that clear. Tell him that it doesn't have to be all the time, but that every woman needs that special attention once and again. Men seem to forget that all too often.
Indeed, I think he may be in a "rut"...........you need to wake him up out of it. This is no time for him to sit on his laurels. He needs to get back into the swing of things and keep your marriage moving along until it hums.
His family will be his family forever........his wife can only be his wife if he takes care of her and her needs. It's that simple.
I don't think that what you ask for is extensive or unreasonable. It is an inherent part of what a man needs to do to show his love. Women need and long for this special attention.....and I cannot for the love of me understand why men just do not get this simple fact? Or maybe they get it..........but wish not to address it, because it requires a specific effort? hmmmm...........then I ask myself, why get married if you are not willing to make an effort? Did someone need a second mother or a wife?
Speak with him on the matter and make it clear that you need some together time alone to work on making your relationship stronger.
If he is unwilling to listen, then you need to make some decisions.........
Let me know it goes........
kind regards,
Don.
