QuestionI recently snooped on my husband's e-mail and found that he had placed a personal ad online saying he was neglected in marriage. I confronted him about it and things went south. He said he really didn't expect to anything to come of the ad but wanted to see who would respond. In the past we've had trust issues with him always talking to other women, building emotional work relationships and me not knowing the extent of their relationship. He texts all the time and talks to various women, saying they are his work friends. After I confronted him about the ad, he stated we needed a separation to clear our heads. Maybe we'll get back together, maybe not. We still live in the same household, for financial reasons, but he does not come home and we barely talk to each other. While I want the marriage, he has clearly moved on. He is gone this weekend out of town with a female. I'm extremely hurt by this but I have to put my own plans in place to move on as well. We made plans to move to another city before all this but now I really just want to get out of this situation. How do I cope, knowing he is with someone else? When should I file for divorce?
AnswerHi Nicole,
I am really sorry that your relationship is in such turmoil right now -- I wish I could remove it for you so that you could move on today! Bless you!
Well, you asked how do you cope in the midst of such disrespect and disregard? By taking care of yourself and treating yourself like the princess that you are ... this a time when you can totally focus on you -- your health, your beauty, your brain, your heart. It is a time to be tender with yourself ... go get a massage, go to a therapist to get a better understanding of yourself ... what I am saying is this is a time to LOVE yourself, and in the process, GROW!
As to when you should file for divorce, only you can say. If you know it's over, why wait?
I hope this helped you dear ... be kind to you.
Doctor Becky
