Navigating Childhood Crushes and Lingering Feelings: A Personal Reflection

Question
Hello I am swaroop, I am 24 and working as an Engineer in Bangalore. I had my schoolmate in 5th aand 6th whom I liked and it became an issue at that time and she treated me as her brother by gifting a card on my birthday and I left that feeling long back but at some corner in my mind I have a feeling but I am not bold enough to say even when we are seen once or twice in some occasion. During my 9th and 10th,a girl liked me and proposed me when I was doing my Engineering (3rd sem), from that day till date she has the same love for me without change , likings were mismatching I said we will not be in contact as we differ in thinking, later she requested to be as a friend,I agreed but the feeling of her remained the same, many mismatches like games, thinking style on a topic, ambitions in life, dressing appearance, interest of study, etc... after some time I realised that all these are minor qualities then I came out of that state of mind and I accepted her. Now I feel somewhat inferior to introduce to my friends or anybody, I am finding some hesitation to accept her as my would be and also I dont want to lose the pure love of her on me. I am confused whether to marry her or not. Meanwhile I get thinking of my old schoolmate(5th and 6th),even knowing that  she has no feelings to me by seeing how she reacts in some ocassions. please help me as soon as possible.

Answer
Hi Swaroop,

It is difficult for me to help you as this is a simple decision that you need to make.  If you are not fully comfortable with someone, then you should not be marrying that person. It is quite simple ultimately. Marriage is for life, or so we hope.  If you feel that this young woman is not worthy of introduction to your friends, perhaps you are not ready for marriage yet.


regards,

Don.