QuestionI'm 30, my husband's 32, and recently he's been spending all his free time with a close male friend called Jeremy. He barely spends any time with me, and if he does, it's like he's pining for Jeremy, wanting to be with him again. He seems on edge and irritable if not with him.
I've asked him if I can meet him, saying if he's such a close friend why can't we meet, but he evaded the question.
When I checked our email, I was surprised to see pictures of Jeremy in his underwear addressed to my husband. I know what he looks like now, but not the way I expected it to be.
I asked my husband what's going on, but he refused to discuss it any further. I acted calmly, neutrally and non-judgmentally, but he refused to talk any further. Isn't this suspicious behaviour?
However, he insisted he wasn't gay or bisexual, he said the photos were " a bit of fun" and a private in-joke between them.
The next week I spoke to my close friend about it, and she said she suspected Jeremy might be gay due to the underwear photos, but otherwise couldn't explain my husband's behavior.
Now I find out my husband's booked a 2-week holiday to Spain with Jeremy, which has made me furious.
I need help and support on this, the situation is causing me untold stress.
AnswerHi Dawn,
Invite Jeremy for dinner and ask him to bring his girlfriend (if he has one, but I doubt it), and then talk with them both at dinner about your concerns. If your husband refuses, then it is clear what is happening here.
I'm leaning on the same side you are about this. Too strange that a man would book a vacation without telling his wife beforehand. A fishing or hunting trip, sure, but this is weird.
Your husband is clearly having some issues with his orientation if you ask me. Try the dinner thing and if that is refused, you will have your answer. Nothing wrong with a wife inviting her husband's "best friend" for dinner, right?
let me know.
regards,
Don.
