Navigating Past Relationships: Healing After a Wife's History

Question
My wife and i have been married for 7 years now. I still am having problem dealing with her past sexual realationships. She is the only on i have ever had sex with while she has had 3 or 4 before me. For years now i have tried to put it out of my head but its hard to do. I feel some times like i hold it over her whitch i know its not a good thing.About 4 years back my wife was suffering from depression while on a trip to see her parents she wanted to see one of her ex so ahe can close the door on that part of her life. I told her it would be alright as long is she kept to a couple of rules that i put down ( Meet in a pubilc place, no physalical contact of any kind, and to tell me what was discussed) i didnt think that was to much to ask just a couple of things for my peice of mind. well come to find out thet didnt go to a pubic place they just drove around she said she gave him a hug goodbye and she said they really didnt talk about nothing to big. and to top it off i find out a year later that she was even drunk. I want to really try to move on. any ideas, books to read, would be great, or if ya feel im nuts to think this way just tell me  

Answer
Phil,

It's kind of late, after 7 years, to still be pissing about this. A couple of facts should aid the way you look at this: 1. You can never go back, and 2. Things work out a certain way for a reason. 3. If she thinks you don't trust her, sooner or later she's going to come to the conclusion that it's not worth being trustworthy. People always wonder, "what would have happened if?" Letting her go back ot close the door on this question probably helped her a great deal move on. So take the credit for letting her, and don't diminish it by being jealous about it. Now if she's going back every week, that's a different story...When I was young, I went around with 3 of my wife's cousins before finally ending up with her. Now after 28 years of marriage, she isn't the prettiest of the 3 anymore, but at every family gathering seeing how things turned out, I get to know that for me, things worked out the right way. In another 21 years all this wondering about previous lovers having bigger dicks, or satisfying her better, is going to seem kind of silly when she's been laying next to you every morning. So get over it anyway you want, and concentrate on loving her, and in her mind there'll be no better man.

Bill