QuestionI'm engaged to be married in 6 months.
My Fiancee has $30,000 in credit card debt she incurred before we met, and owes her parents $1,200 in payments each month for college and a car.
All of her income goes to paying her parents and only the interest on her credit card debt.
I have offered to assume her debt, and have her pay it off through me, to avoid all that credit card interest, and help her recover.
I have asked in return that she sign something acknowleding I have in fact loaned her this money, and it's not a gift.
She is taking my request to have something in writing as distrust of her and is very upset I would request such a thing. She thinks of it as a pre-nup.
I know I'll essentially be responsible for it once we're married, and have accepted that. But, $30,000 is a lot of money - so it makes me feel uncomfortable giving it to her on a promise alone before we're married. Something about it just doesn't feel "smart".
Is my aprehension reasonable?
AnswerHi Scott~
If she's in debt for $30,000 in credit cards, then what makes you think she'll actually pay back a "loan" that you are willing to give her? It would make more sense for her to try and pay it off herself. Your credit will become her credit when you marry, which may not be such a good idea. Unless you are totally prepared to take it on and pay it all off. It doesn't seem as if she's very responsible when it comes to finances and bills. You don't want to start off a marriage with her large debt. What will happen when you marry, and you then get farther and farther into debt? What if she can't control her spending? If she can't afford the car payments and she still has the car, then she needs to sell it, and get something cheaper that she can afford to drive. This way it'll get the car debt off of her parents. As for college, is this a college loan? She could take over the college payments on her own, or see if her parents will let her pay them later. What she needs to attack seriously is the credit card debts, not just paying the minimum payments either. She'll pay so much in finance charges alone just to keep them (the payments) current. And they (the credit card companies) are making a killing off of her! She needs to pay as much as she can on them each month, starting with the one that has the smallest balance, then working her way up to the biggest one. This way she gets them out of the way one at a time. If possible she needs to pay 2-3 times what the minimum payments are running her.
I know I'm rambling on and on, but I most certainly wouldn't marry her when she's in this serious amount of debt, and I wouldn't give her a loan for it either. What if something happens in this relationship (simply b/c you never know)? Then you'd be stuck with haven given her this loan and/or you'll be responsible for paying all these debts back if you do indeed marry her. That's something you seriously have to think about and be prepared to do. It's a big thing, not something small.
