QuestionRespected Mam
I am an Indian Hindu and i am a divorcee. my ex-husband was demanding dowry from my parents and he was verbally abusing me.he was also suspicious on me and said that i had an illegal relationship with one of my best friend,who was my senior in college.he was even very much nice to my parents and we both had no idea of getting married.my parents were very supportive to me as they trusted me and they helped me in getting divorce.but now my best friend feels very guilty for all that has happened to me and he feels that he alone is responsible. he expressed his interest that he wants to marry me.initially i didnt accept his proposal but after 5-6 months i too accepted.now we have said this to both our parents and there is a strong NO from both the sides. He is an Indian Christian and both the families are highly orthodox. We really dont know how to convince our parents.I really dont have any trust in arranged marriage for the second time as i ve had enough in my first.but my parents are promosing that they will choose the best guy for me.i trust and I love my friend as i know him for the past 5 years. hope you willhelp me
thanks
AnswerHi Harini~
It can be very difficult and trying given what you've been through in the past, in convincing your families to let you get married and to even support the very idea of another marriage happening. Parents want what's best for their children, it's their job to do this. However, I agree with you that arranged marriages can have bad outcomes, specifically since you've already experienced one and you don't want to go through another, totally understandable too.
This is where you have to step in and say to your parents, that you love them very much and you respect them and you know that they mean well, however this is your life and only you can live it. You can respectfully decline for them to keep searching for another potential arranged marriage. Of course, if you go ahead and plan to marry your guy, your parents are not going to be happy or maybe even very supportive. But this is your choice and it's one that only you and he can make for yourselves. They don't have to agree with the marriage, but you would like their blessing and support in this whole matter.
The bottom line is it's up to you b/c you have to live your life and be happy in it. Why be miserable in another arranged marriage, when you already have a good man and you know that he'll love you and treat you as you ought to be treated and that's with love, care, dignity and most of all respect that you deserve to have in a marriage. Go with your heart and do what's right for you and what makes you happy. The choice is yours and it's one that ultimately only you can make for yourself. You have to stay strong, confident and stand your ground with this.
