QuestionHi
I am an Indian Hindu and have been in a relationship with a Pakistani Muslim girl for the past 3 years. we have been working in UK for the past 3 years. My family knew the relationship since the beginning and they have no issues at all, but it was hidden from her parents. Now her parents came to know of the relationship and have been aggressive against it. They have separated us, they have forcibly taken her back to Pakistan. I have no issues with the Islam and have even accepted to convert to Islam, but still there hasn't been any effect. Though i haven't spoken to her parents directly.
Is there any way i can convince her parents? Do you think i should talk to her parents? should i make my parents talk to her's? will it make anything better if i go and talk to them in Pakistan, rather than talking over the phone?
Please guide us?
Awaiting your reply,
Regards
AnswerHi Abhishek,
I'm really sorry to hear that you both have become the victims of something I find simply totally archaic. I am of the opinion that everyone must be responsible for their own lives and I am completely against any notion that parents can tell their children who to marry based on their belief systems. Love is the only true measure in my opinion.
Naturally, you will understand that any advice I would give will be biased and not in tune with what her parents will want to understand because they have been raised to believe that they are the architects of destiny. There is very little you can do to change that, because most people like that simply do not want to hear anything but what they have been taught. To find compromise there has to be a willingness to listen to alternative views, and from my experience, anyone who reacts the way they did is simply beyond being able to accept any other view point than their own.
I do suggest however that you show them that you have class and conviction and speak to them in person , with a calm manner, expressing your views and your love for their daughter. If you however try to push them to accept your viewpoint , you need to understand that these people are fanatically embracing a religion taught to them as opposed to a life of their own choosing and a life of thinking freely for themselves. That being said, keep your chin up and rest assured that what you see is correct in more ways than one. Love is the basis for marriage, not religion , nor what parents may think is best for their offspring. After all, are you not adults and able to make your own decisions?
The only guidance I can give you is to be totally honest and forthright and to show class and consideration for their position, but that you not allow yourself to be held hostage by someone elses' beliefs, because unfortunately, even though they have been held for many centuries, that in itself is not a confirmation of their righteousness.
Good luck to you and I do hope that you have the strength and conviction to deal with this, because it is a very difficult task.
regards,
Don
