QuestionWhat do I do to make my wife fall in love with me again? I'm still in love with her. We are currently separated. We always talk on the phone and text. We talk about everyday things. We go out to the club or out to eat. We do things together with our kids. She has told me she just wants to be friends. No intimate life. But yet we have had intimate encounters 4 times since we have been separated. when we are together, we hold hands, we kiss, and sit together. I don't know what she wants. I know I'm still in love with her. She tell my 4 yr old son that she loves me. She has told me she love and care for me, but she doesn't want to be with me. How can I win her love? Please help me. Thank you very much.
AnswerHi Jesse~
Maybe she loves you but she's not IN love with you. There's a huge difference between the two believe it or not. And it's not uncommon for separated spouses to still be intimately involved with each other. It's more a convenience than anything at the time, since bringing other ppl into the mix tends to have an adverse reaction and can end up complicating things more. You need to sit down with her and have a serious heart to heart talk with her. She needs to know how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. She needs to give you an idea of what's going to happen in the future, or if there will even be a future with you. You have that right to know her intentions so that you're made aware of what she plans to do here. She's basically acting the part of a wife, and being a family with you, except she's living elsewhere (and please correct me if I'm wrong on assuming this), but w/o the commitment of living together, so if she wants to go and do something that she wants to, then she can w/o having to worry about what you'll say or think. It's a freedom but with a family life at the same time, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
Anyway, you need to get to the bottom of this and what her real and true intentions are here. If she wants to work it out, then she needs to tell you. And if not, then she needs to be honest and tell you, so that you can begin to move on with your life w/o her in it, b/c it'll take some adjusting for everyone involved. Otherwise, she's leading you on and not telling you what she's planning on doing. In other words a decision needs to be made so that this does not drag on and on, b/c if it does someone's going to end up with hurt feelings, including the children. And that's not right nor fair to do to you and the children. She needs to be committed to something either way and leaving you holding the bag, hoping that you have a chance to work things out, if she's not willing to get back with you.
You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Or to feel something they can't feel. You have to face that fact, if this is how she really feels for you and about marriage. Either way you have some tough choices to make for you and what's in the best interest of you and the children. I hope this helps you some.
