QuestionHello Daniel.
I have a question regarding an incident that took place over the weekend between a couple. They are newlyweds and I will just simply refer to them as husband and wife to protect their privacy. Anyway, these newlyweds were married on Saturday and they celebrated their wedding by going to a nightclub that same night. At one point, the wife began dancing with another man. The husband saw this and he responded by leaving the club and went back to their hotel, followed shortly by his wife who was drunk. She pushed him and bit him on his left shoulder. The husband drove to their home and the wife soon followed. She ripped off his shirt, threw water at him, and bit him on his right arm.
The next early morning, two police officers responded to a 911 call from the newlywed's home, they heard a woman yelling for help, and through a window saw a shirtless man with a cellphone, holding down his wife. The wife explained to the authorities that the bite mark on her husband's shoulder was from the couple's "fooling around" two days before. She said that she bit her husband on the arm because he pushed her into a wall. The husband told the officers that he did not want his wife to go to jail and went to her bond court hearing. He asked the judge for leniency, saying she may have been under the influence of a substance that altered her state of mind. The judge set the wife's bond at $4,500 and ordered her to stay away from alcohol and her husband. They are off to a good start, eh?
All kidding aside, it's quite clear that the wife has some serious issues and if I were the husband, I would divorce her immediately. Furthermore, if I was the husband, I wouldn't put up with my wife dancing with another man. It's one thing if it was mutually consented such as "Excuse me, may I have this dance with your wife" and I would either say "yes" or "no" but in this case, it wasn't mutually consented. Instead of doing something about it, the husband just walked out, he doesn't have any balls. Now, I hate confrontations, but at the same time, I would not walk out of the club and not do anything. I would walk up to them and say, "Excuse me, but you are dancing with my newlywed wife and I'd like her back" and yank her away from him. Then back at the hotel, I would have held a People's Court Session at 2 am in the morning, asking her why she behaved so inappropriately.
I would not blame the man for dancing with the wife because he obviously didn't know that she was just married, therefore, a fight between the two men wasn't necessary, but how do you think the husband could have better handled this situation?
Kindest regards,
Dylan
AnswerThe husband could tell his wife that he does not want her to dance with other men and that he is going back to the hotel. He should then not try to talk to her until she is sober. Then he should get her agreement not to do that again and not to get drunk again.
Discussion of issues should only occur when both parties are calm. Issues must be clearly identified and agreements reached as well as apologies exchanged.
Please excuse for recommending the chapter on couple counseling in this reader-friendly resource http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeutic-statements/dp/1442...
