QuestionHello there. I am hoping that you can help me with an issue i am facing. I (D) am 27 years old and so is my wife (S), we live in the UK and have been married for 6 months now. My wife has younger sister's, one 21 (C) and the other 15. My wife and I often spend time socialising with her parents at their house with her family as it fairly big place and fun for BBQ's/large gatherings etc...
The last time we were there was last weekend when this happened. We were having a late meal after spending most of the day outside in the garden with some drinks. It was around 11.30 when C decided to go to bed and around 12 when my wife (S) decided to do the same. I told my wife not to wait up for me as I knew she was tired from an early start that day. I stayed up with my mother and father in law for a while longer (I am not sure of the exact time but possibly to around 2AM), when we all decided to head to bed. They both went to the master bedroom and I went to the main bathroom to brush my teeth etc... When I had finished I made my way to the bedroom my wife and I use when we are staying there. I was careful to make as little noise as possible so as to not frighten her (she is normally a very light sleeper). I got undressed and climbed into bed behind my wife. The amount that I had to drink had taken affect on me and I was feeling a bit aroused so I leaned over and kissed my wife on the back of her neck and wrapped my arm around her stroking her softly. After a few seconds she moved her hand on top of mine which I took and guided behind her to my penis which by this stage was pretty hard and started to play with it getting me more aroused. After about a minute or two of this she stopped masturbating me and started to turn round. It was at this point that I realised that i was actually in bed with my wife's sister C - her bedroom is right next door to the one my wife and I use. I made a very quick, fumbled excuse and then left.
Since then nothing has happened and havent seen my sister in law - until this weekend as we are going back to my wifes parents for the weekend. What should i do about what happened? Should i talk about it with my wife, with her sister, forget it altogether? Im totally lost.
Thanks,
D
AnswerHere are some thoughts:
1. tell your wife what happened in order to avoid a special relationship with her sister
2. tell your wife "I am very sorry and do not deserve your forgiveness."
3. tell your wife "I did this when I was drinking, so I have decided not to drink again, as my memory and judgment are poor when drinking."
4. at some point you may also want to apologize to her sister
Your wife may wish to divorce, and if so you must face the loss, learn from this experience, and move forward in your life.
To understand and heal childhood experiences affecting adult life and relationships see http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeutic-statements/dp/1442...
