QuestionDear Rita,
My spouse reported to Police I Mentally ill (I was not) following a minor , minor disagreement. (Absolutely no yelling, shouting ,threats & not a shred of any physical violence. Approx 6 hours later I was then arrested & spent approx 5 hours in jail until interviewed by a Psychiatrist & since absolutely no mental illness existed I was released.) I have asked my spouse on several occasions, I probably raised my voice, to tell me what she reported to Police & apologize for what I consider a totally unecessary arrest. (Prior to this arrest , I should state, my home is a home where absolutely NO abuse of any sort is occuring). This asking by me she later reported to Police as Abuse. Am I not entitled to an explanation & an apology for her actions ? Rather than Apologize, she insults me by stating "Get on Drugs" or "You are a thief". I've stolen nothing in my life . Does taking approx 6 packets of sugars from MacDonalds over a 28 year period warrant this type of Abuse from her. Her refusal to discuss the issue is having a serious & detrimental affect on our relationship. I feel grossly disrespected, victimized & stabbed in the back by her accusations to the Police. The Police treated me as if indeed I were an Abuser. Let me state: I have NEVER critized, demeaned, cussed & absolutely never touched this person Physically. AM I RIGHT IN my Persistence to get an Explanation & an Apology. If I get neither, I feel this marriage (Due to such disrespect) is doomed.
Dermot
AnswerHello Dermot,
Has she been under stress lately?Gone through the death of a loved one,lost a job,fought with relatives or friends?
It sounds as if she is depressed about something and doesn't know what to do.
If she won't talk to you, ask her if she will go to a minister or counselor with you.If she says no,then ask her what she wants from you.
Have there been any signs in the last few months that she has lost interest in you? Does she ask you for a divorce or tell you to move out?
I agree that you deserve an apology, but at this point and time you would probably end back up in jail if you asked.There is an underlying problem here and you need to find out what it is.
If you have children together,ask them if they have noticed any unusual behavior from their mother.Friends also might know of a change.
Please check out all the possibilities that I have listed above.I hope things work out.
Rita
