QuestionDear Rita,
I asked you earlier the question "Is this Normal Behaviour".
After 29 years of marriage in which there has not been one shred of Physical Violence, My wife had me arrested by falsely stating I Mentally ill after a Minor, Minor Non-Violent & Non-Verbally Abusive disagreement. (If disagreements are measured on a scale of 0 to 10, this may have been a .5 ..... I took her to Tim Horton's for a coffee and asked for an explanation as to why she had me arrested considering the minor scale of our disagreement. She refused to answer,,,, I asked her again (politely ,, No raising of voice etc)(I was in a public place). She refused to answer my question. A question I feel I have a right to an answer. Since I feel this arrest was absolutely uncessary, I have threatend to take her to Court & have her charged with False Arrest. Her definition of Abuse is "IF I ASK HER A QUESTION & SHE DOES NOT WANT TO ANSWER <<< IT IS ABUSE". I see absolutely nothing Abusive about my asking for an answer. If I don't get a thorough explanation & a Sincere apology, This relationship is in serious trouble. I took her to the Police station 8 months later to get a copy of the report she had made. She agreed to get the report but when we arrived at the Police station she double crossed me. She had another Agenda in mind. Between the time she had me falsely arrested & this visit to the Police station , I asked her 2 or 3 times to Apologize for the earlier Arrest. (She calls these attempts by me as Abuse & reported such to Police as "SHE LIVING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP". (I am not cursing on her, not threatening her, not demeaning her, not controlling her) (She has own car, bank Acct, Goes & comes as she wishes, Has friends & activities outside our relationship, visits relatives whenever she wishes, I encourage her to visit relative each summer so as to give her a break away from children). Where is the Abuse ???? Is she not more Abusive than I ??? She is making statements to Police that she is being Abused because I want to discuss an issue important to our relationship. When does family issues become a Police matter especially considering there is Absolutely No Physical Violence & None ever likely to occur. I do not have the Psychological Profile of any type of Abuser.
Is this wife an "Abuse Fanatic" ????
She writs letters to Court System, Social services making Accusations of Elder Abuse based on hearsay from sister.In her log she accuses a sibling of intentionally endangering life of wife & unborn child (Child born with brain damage). This written in her log 26 years after the alleged endangerment.
Yet, She calls me an Abuser.
Totally Confused,
Dermot
AnswerHello Dermot,
QUOTE:
"In her log she accuses a sibling of intentionally endangering life of wife & unborn child (Child born with brain damage). This written in her log 26 years after the alleged endangerment."
I think you need to get with your children and other members of family and discuss her actions.The above papargraph of accusations about something that happened 26 years ago is not normal.
Is your wife Bi-polar?Is she taking medications that are altering her personality?If not,she needs to be evaluated by a physician.
Think back to the last couple of years.Have there been other subtle changes in her personality? Odd behavior with friends or relatives?
I think it's time that you and the family discuss her emotional state.
Rita
