QuestionQUESTION: i am so worried. i had an abortion a month ago by taking misoprostol. as expected, i bleed but it only last for two days and the following days are just spots until i bleed no more.. yesterday i checked if i was still pregnant through Pregnancy Test and it was still positive. i am so worried because i have symptoms of being pregnant. what would i do? if i am really pregnant, should i continue it? but i`m not ready and i am afraid for the possibilities that the baby was still there.. i'm just 19 years old and still pursuing my studies.. please help me! i'm hoping for a response.. please please please.. i am so desperate.. is it still safe if i take another pill? what would be the safest way to continually abort the baby?
ANSWER: Hi, Monique,
My heart goes out to you. You have every reason to be worried.
You didn't say how far along you were. At this point, you are a month further along. These pills only "work" in the early stages. The fact it didn't work may hint that it was already too late for them to do anything.
First, whoever gave you misoprostol committed malpractice, in my opinion. This is because the manufacturer explicitly says it is not to be used by pregnant women! In fact, it can kill a woman in hours.
If you are still pregnant at this point, your baby is probably OK. You asked, "what would be the safest way to continually abort the baby?" The truth is, there is NO safe way. Abortion is dangerous no matter how you do it! No, it's not safe to take another pill. In fact, abortion can damage a woman so badly that she cannot continue with her life, either for medical or emotional reasons.
Yes, you should continue. If the baby was harmed, he or she wouldn't still be here. There is a slim chance of some problems, but according to what I have read, it's not very great. Go to a decent doctor, one who considers you both his patients, and tell him about taking the pill. Tell him everything you took. He can do an ultrasound, too, at this point, and you should look at it. I say this because you are going to find this out sooner or later anyway, and it's better to find out sooner so that you can think productively about your situation.
As for your studies, I don't see any reason why you can't continue. Why do I say that? Because I did! I went to school for a little while after our oldest son was born, and then I wanted to take a break, and it was very good for me. But then I went back, and my studies were much more profitable for me because I was more mature, and could think for myself much better, and then I became pregnant while I was in school. Our oldest daughter was born in the middle of the semester. I chose to stay out for a week, and then went back and aced my courses. The following semester (after the summer), I took her to class with me. But she was talking to the professor, who didn't like that I took her out to deal with it (she was a spinster), and said I couldn't bring her to class anymore, so I found a babysitter on campus. It wasn't very expensive, because she only kept her about three hours a week. Finding someone you can trust is the hardest part, but there may be some other alternatives, too.
During this time, I went half time because that's what I wanted to do. By the time I graduated, we had four children, three of them preschoolers. So yes, you can do it.
Now as far as alternatives are concerned, there are several open to you. Please go to a crisis pregnancy agency. They will help you with counseling and resources. They will help you make sure you can complete your studies. It's illegal in this country to discriminate against a pregnant woman in education. You didn't say where you were from. But there's a good chance it's illegal where you are as well. There are two places where you can go to find an agency in your area.
http://pregnancycenters.org/
http://www.heartbeatinternational.org/worldwide_directory.asp
And have them recommend a good doctor ASAP!
In addition, if you live in the United States, and you are going to college, check and see if it has a college outreach program. This program provides housing and services for students who are parenting. You can find out more about this program here:
http://www.feministsforlife.org/
I realize that what you are thinking is that if you continue with your pregnancy, life as you know it will be over. I guess it depends on how you see your present life. If you want to continue to be immature and irresponsible, it will probably put an end to that. But that's not necessarily a bad thing! Certainly things will change. They already have. No matter what you do at this point, life will never be the same again. But life has a way of throwing curve balls at us, and we are a lot stronger than we think! And the fortitude we develop will help us the next time life throws us a curve ball!
Hang in there. Take one day at a time if you need to. You will be fine, and when you look back, and talk to other folks, you'll run into the women who wish from the bottom of their hearts they could be right where you are right now, the ones for whom abortion was successful. I will be here for you, so come and talk to me any time. Feel free to pick my brain. I've been there, done that, so I know it's possible. Stay safe, and keep your baby safe!
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QUESTION: i was 5 or 6 weeks of pregnancy when i took the pill.. i come from a country which abortion is against to our religious belief..my parents would kill me if they would find out that i am pregnant :(
i couldn't bear the shame that my family would feel..i cannot stand the disappointment that they would feel..they have trusted me but i just ruined their trust! help me please.. what would i do?
AnswerMonique,
I understand your problem. But I doubt seriously if your parents would kill you. Not unless you live in a Muslim country.
Think of it this way. If you have an abortion and something goes wrong, they WILL find out. Is that the way you want to ruin their trust?
One other thing: as a parent, I have been where your parents are. One of our children had a baby out of wedlock. He is precious to me; I was so thankful they protected him and let him be born and be part of our lives. Of the eight grandchildren we have, he is no different. He is a child, innocent of any wrongdoing, and his parents are taking good care of him. Most parents become supportive. Sure, they will probably be upset at first, but it is rare for a parent not to be supportive in the long run.
I can't really help you with resources if I have no idea where you are.
Since you were so far along to begin with, that explains why the pill you took had no effect. At present, your baby is 9 or 10 weeks old, and fully formed.
If you are in a country where you cannot get help, see if you can travel to another country for awhile. But let me know at least what country you are in, so I can see what the situation is you are facing. Make it a private message.
If you cannot travel to another country, try traveling to a Catholic church. I realize this may be a very difficult thing for you to do, but most of them will help you. If they don't, try another one. A lot of other churches would probably help, too. But I don't know which ones, or how to help you find one.
I will do what I can to help, and I will certainly pray for you. But I can't help you hurt yourself or your baby. Please take care of yourself and your baby.
