Feeling Undervalued in Your Marriage? How to Rebuild Respect and Strength

Question
Me and my wifes been married for 12 years now and she has a complaint that im not a man i dont understand i do the laundry take care of the kids when shes at work do the cooking do yard work and i got a ful time job and she also said to me. Im her enabler i hold her back. she said once, but my complaint is how do i become this  man shes talken about?

Answer
Hi Tim~

Do not listen to her and take what she says personally.  Any woman would be envious of what you do for your wife, b/c there aren't enough men to step up to the plate and be a real man like you truly are.  If I were you I'd honestly be insulted by her comments.  She's the one that has the problem here, sometimes there are ppl that you just can't please no matter what you try and do for them, by being nice, etc.  She's taking full advantage of you and degrading you and she's an unhappy, and ungrateful person.  Please don't take this as a personal attack on your wife, I don't know her or you personally, and I'm not judging either one of you.  I'm only judging the actions themselves, so this isn't a personal attack on either of you.  If that makes any sense whatsoever.  But to answer your question, and being frank and honest.  There is nothing that you can do to be more of a man, b/c you're already doing it, and I mean being a real man by helping her by all the things that you DO do for her.  She's somehow not seeing what you do or she simply doesn't care, or want to give you credit for all that you do, for whatever her personal reasons are.  You are an enabler if you keep taking her abuse and putting up with her treating you in this manner.  Likely no matter what you say or do she will not be pleased with it.  You have to decide next if you're going to keep taking this abuse from her.  Or if you're finally sick and tired of it enough to do something about it.  I can't tell you what to do here b/c that's not my place.  It's your life and you have to decide what to do, if anything at all.  The choice is yours and it all starts with you.