Question'll keep it short. I m 21 and I met a 28 year old guy last year during a vacation. We're the kind of Indian community that has to marry within our race, and I felt he's the best guy I've met so far. Considering, we're quite a minority, I doubt I'll meet another guy this amazing and I didn't pursue him 'cause he's old enough and of marriageable age and his family is already looking out for brides for arranging his marriage. I m finishing college and I still have to go to grad school and work, all that, so the earliest I can make myself available for marriage is after 3 years.
As for, what he feels for me, I can guess, I m more of his back-up plan. He and his family having been bride searching for ages and if it continues till I get older, he'll probably come around and ask his family to ask mine for me. In the past one year since I met him, he had an alliance with a girl he met on a matrimonial site but when he met her, he somehow dropped the plan and said it won't work out. No clue why. As of now, I know his cousin and I figure he's mentioned about me to his family. I m not sure, but I guess he's mentioned he likes me but I'm too young for him, not ready yet and we lives miles apart so we couldn't go out and get to know each other.
He's never "called" me or emailed or anything. I'm online all the time, so he'll ping in once in a while and keep it short and flirty. I hope I am right to conclude he's not interested in me at all. He probably just likes the idea of amusing himself to know/get a hint that I like him.
Having convinced myself, that he's not into me, could you please tell me- how should I get over it and move on? I feel so ashamed I've been somebody's amusement.
AnswerHi Madhu,
Pretty simple really. Just reading you message to me would be enough to get you over it. The last phrase seems reason enough to get over him, yes? After all, you met him on vacation and were smitten with him, but what do you really know about him?
It seems to me the logistics on this one are a bit too difficult, so the best way to get over it is to go back to living your life and achieving the goals you set for yourself. It was a nice vacation flirt and fling, and now you simply go back the regularly scheduled programming in your life.
there is no need for you to be anyone's amusement. You are worthy of more than that. Just live your life and see it for what it was, a relationship of short duration. If later in life things change, then so be it, but for now, you have other things to worry about, I am sure.
In three years, find out what he is doing if you still feel the same way about him, but don't hold you breathe as you may well find yourself in a whole new reality by then.
regards,
Don.
