Wedding Planning Roadblocks: Dealing with a Reluctant Fiancé

Question
i have been with my fiance for 4 yrs. we have been engaged for almost 2 yrs. he told me bout a week ago that he wanted to get married in a yr from july. i said ok. so i am sitting here tryin to plan things and he wont set the date. our agreement when we got engaged was that he would set the date. everytime i mention it he says i dont know, or quit asking, or if u ask me one more time then we are not getting married. one minute he is in to it and the next hes not. i have been upset ever since he said those things. what should i do? what does he want?

Answer
Hi Jori~

Maybe he's overwhelmed with everything and setting a date a year in advance is too much for him to think about and this is why he's reacting this way.  You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this relationship.  If he still can't commit to a date, then you need to tell him, if he can't then you're not going any further with these wedding plans b/c you need to know a tentative date to make future wedding plans, such as booking a place in advance, giving enough notice for flower arrangements, etc and whatever else you need to do.  Otherwise, you run the risk of planning it all and having it all set up and he changes his mind again and that's not okay.  He has to give you something to work with here.  The wedding isn't going to plan and do itself and clearly that's what your attempting to do but he's not working with you right now.