Navigating Relationship Challenges: Should You Stay or Leave?

Question
I'm so confused with my husband's habits and his beliefs.We have been together 1 year and 5 months but we got married 4 months ago but I'm not from US I'm from Southamerica and I've been in US 6 months so far but my husband was living in my country for 9 months with me and we had problems there because differences beliefs but when I got here I realized that he is the kind of guy who enjoy going out "a lot"(thing he couldn't do in country because no many people speak English)and I'm the kind of person who enjoy stay at home most days in the week. I want to go out but I like to go out to have dinners with friends, or go to the movies or go to friend's house to watch movies but I'm not the type of person who enjoy going to bars or night clubs so often. When we got married I thought he really wanted to be married and have a family since it is his second marriage and for me it is the first one and I was hoping the only one. He has good feelings but I don't understand why he makes me feel so unhappy and he always hurts me or I get hurt easily I really don't know. He said that I'm weird just because I want to stay at home and I don't want to go to hooters about 4 or 5 days in the week even 3 for me that is too much and now he is going 3 days in the week because I can't take it anymore and I shouldn't be with him because I dont enjoy it and he doesnt enjoy having dinner with friends in their house(because for him that is boring) Usually when he goes to hooters drinks beer and he never get hammer or make any kind or problem but he thinks because he is inviting me to go with him he is not doing anything wrong. he invites me 99% of the time and he says people are expecting us there, people who are nice and easy to talk but they are not really our friends or sometimes he says if he could see his friends every day he will do it and I ask myself then why he really needs me? I'm 24 years old and he is almost 40 in 1 month and half and he thinks just because we don't have kids and we are young we have freedom and that is true but at the same time I believe that someone get married to spend time with your other half and care about that person share their lives. He and I have talked about this problem over and over again but I really feel ignore by him. He leaves me alone at home for hours and back sometimes at 1am because he was in hooters with his friends and he said to me I should be happy he is not cheating on me or in a night club that I know he has been in hooters. I don't have any problem with the place, my only problem is: He going out to much and he put his "friends" first than me and I don't know what to do. I'm really unhappy and he knows about it and he doesn't do anything to change it, he knows that he hurts me doing that and he just doesn't care and if he does it doesnt looks like he care because when someone loves you that person try to make you happy and think about how he make you feel.I want to have children but at the same time I think we wont change and he will do the same thing I can say this because he has a daughter(1st marriage but she lives with the mom and when she was pregnant and she was a baby he was going out anyway)well what I can say.He is not a abusive man or has bad intentions he is kind of chauvinist. I have to do what he wants and he feels good but I'm doing what he wants because I love him and I care about him but Its not the way that I am. Because of that I prefer to leave him or divorce him and move on or should I think that he will change for me because he wants to be a HUSBAND FOR ME?

Answer
Hi Siliva~

It seems as though he's very selfish and self-absorbed, and he doesn't take your thoughts or feelings into consideration.  And that's not a good thing for him to do.  

I would strongly suggest that you talk to him about marriage counseling.  This way you can both work on the marriage and see if things can be worked out.  Marriage is a constant work in progress.  

He has to want to make the change and stop going out so much.  You can't make him do something he refuses to do. So now comes the part where you have to decide what you want to do.  A person can only take so much of something before they break.  So the question here is when is your breaking point?  And how far are you willing to go when it comes to your husband's actions.  

If you have any further questions please feel free to ask.