QuestionAsalam u alikum ...hello my name is Asif and i am 23 years old..i really need ur help i am so glad and happy to find this site....without wasting anytime i will ask my question....well my problem is related to marriage....please dont get angry and please dont get me in the wrong way and please forgive me if i say or write anything wrong ...u can let me know if i make any mistakes ...but please reply and pelase guide me in the right way. My question: I am in love with a girl and we both love each other very much.....firstly i would like to clear u that yes it is a love and not some kind of infatuation or something like that....we are very serious about our realtion and we both want to get married and have a beautifull family...but i am really very nervous, confused,sad, numb and depressed with some question which always strikes in my mind....the problem is that the girl i want to marry is not muslim by religion, she is christain.....but she loes me very much and even i love her....but for sure i dont want to give up my religion 200% cause my first priotiy in life is allah is my religion its my greatest strength ....she has told me that she will convert to muslim and will accept our religion and i was very happy...but true speaking i cant be sure for it cause who knows she says this to smake me happy to show me how uch she love me and to get married with me...i was really not satisfies from inside cause i knew she always had a question in her heart that why only she have to convert to my religion why cant i convert to her religion or find some another way....so i was very confused...so i asked one of my friend who is muslim and very matured....he is 48 years old....so i thought i should ask him cause earlier i did not knew about this site....so i told him this problem..i was really very stunned by his answer, i still doubt his answer thats why i am writing here....i'll tell u what he said in clear words he said " well Asif , it is allowed in our religion to marry a christaion girl..he said that u can marry a girl who believe and have faith in god....he said since she have faith in god u can marry her cause she is not like the one who praises some stone made statues or some living human being...he said u should not force the girl u love to convert to muslim u should marry her and show her our very beautifull religion how lovely it is and then she should accept our religion from her heart and soul ..she told u can marry her by u remaining muslim and she remaining Christain " though this answer had some logic in it ...so please u can tell me whether he was correct or not.....but again i have some question in my mind after hearing this solution from my friend.....since the girl i love is christain....and if iam not mistaken christain say and belive that jesus is the son of the god....what they call is "GOD INCARNATE" and according to our religion god is one and jesus was no more than a prophet of God, a human being" sorry if i say anything wrong....but u r expert u know it better i hope u got my idea hwat i mean to say about the christain religion about there idea of GOD.....so what should i do can i marry her..please dont direcdtly say me to forget about this girl i really love her and i really want to marry her and want to show her how beautifull and simple is our religion....tell me can i marry her without telling her to convert in muslim.....cause who know if she denies in future tht she will marry me by not giving up her religion.....though after i marry her i will really try my very best to show how beautifull our religion is and she will convert from her heart and soul to muslim....oh i really wanna marry her please help me.....and i was also thinking that what if she says: yes Asif i will marry u and will accept ur religion but what if she deep from her heart will never accept islam ....i mean may be she will act like she is converted to islam but from deep inside she never believe in allah....oh i am just a human being i cant say what her heart and mind thinks...may be if this happen then for sure i will go to the fir of hell.....and will pay for sucha big sin.....i am really so sad and depressd by this please for god sake help me....i believe in allah and have faith in allah very very much....i know allah is taking my test cause this life is full of test and i dont want to fail in this test but at the same time i dont want to loose the girl i love...sorry for such a long question but my question cannot be asked in one or two sentences......and yes if u have any questions to ask me to clearify my doubts/questions.....or if u want anything to ask the girl i love then please tell me i will ask her and let u know for sure.......but please help me i really need ur help.....its the way Allah showed me this site so that i can get the answer to my question and i know this wont disppoint me cause Allah is very kind-heartened and the most mercifull than anyone....and our beautifull religion have solutions to any kind of problem......and beleive me i really dont want to do anything wrong which goes against Quran shareef....against our religion "Islam".....cause i fear allah very very much and i pray and beg to only allah for my problems....please reply me as soon as possible but take ur time to answer my question i dont want u to hurry up answering my question but please guide me in the correct way according to Quran shareef and our religion "Islam"....i will be really thank full to you and i am really waiting for ur reply very curiuosly.....please answer very clearly dont answer in short.....thank u very much for reading my problem and once again forgive me if i said anything wrong cause i never intened to say/write anything wrong :(
Asalam u alikum
Allah Hafiz
AnswerHi Asif~
I'm speaking as a Christian woman here to you about your dilemma. As a Christian, we believe that Jesus is the son of God, and in the Bible. It says that the only way to the father is through the son. That there there is no other before him (meaning God). It's not my place to judge other religions and the people that worship them. But as a Christian, God and Jesus are the one and true ways to heaven. I hope that I don't offend you either, by saying this.
I will say this though. If you truly love this young woman, you will not ask her to convert to the Muslim religion. All you can do is to live by your commandments of the Quran and do what Allah tells you in your heart to do. Just because a couple that loves each other come from two different religious backgrounds, doesn't mean they can't be together and live happily and love one another. Sure, in a perfect world she would be with another Christian, but sometimes things don't work out like that. You can't help who you fall in love with.
Anyway, I'm getting off track here. You should marry her and be happy in life, celebrate each day together, at the same time emerging yourself in your beliefs, doing as Allah would want you do to with your life. Let her continue to praise and obey her religion and God. If there comes a time that she's comfortable with converting to Islam, then so be it. It would be a joyous day for you. But at the same time you don't want her doing something she's not fully ready to do, just so she can please you because she loves you so much, she's willing to do anything for you. I hope that made some sort of sense.
My point is that you can have a happy marriage and be of two religions. Just be mindful of what she wants as well. Ultimately though, whatever we do in this lifetime, decisions we make, things we do, etc. God will be the judge of all humans in the end. And we will be held accountable for our own decision and actions in life that we made.
So I don't know if I've even given you any good advice that you can use, due to the differences in our religions and the beliefs I have as a Christian and you as a Muslim. At the same time I'm trying to be sensitive to your religion and views. Does that make any sense? But I can only speak as a Christian, and I'm trying not to judge others, but at the same time while remaining true to my Christian beliefs.
I guess my whole advice is to go with your heart and do what's right for you, while at the same time being true to the Muslim religion. I hope I didn't offend you either. I really feel for you, that you're in this type of dilemma to begin with. I can't imagine how tough this must be for you to cope with, and how confusing it can be, etc.
But if you have you any further questions please feel free to ask. And I will try to answer them to the best of my ability.
