QuestionQUESTION: Hi there,
My husband and I split up almost a year ago. He has told others that he made a mistake "but it is what it is" and he is going around partying with 20 ish people and sleeping around with younger women as well. He is 31... and essentially decided last summer he needed "to be on his own" after I had lost my mother suddenly and my grandmom and he felt he was having a mid-life crisis did not want any pressures, or responsibilities and said it had nothing to do with how he felt about me. But he still plays games to have contact with me and I am trying to understand why he is doing this and why he is doing what he is doing with younger women
ANSWER: Hi Sara~
He very well could be having a mid-life crisis. He wanted to go out and do his own thing (so to speak), thus sleeping with younger women, partying with a younger crowd, etc. He's being very selfish and only thinking of himself too.
He could want to remain in contact with you b/c he still actually has feeling for you, or he's doing it out of pure guilt (or a combonation of both), really, it's hard to tell what he's thinking or why he's doing this. Only he knows why he's acting his. But his behavior is totally unacceptable for a man of his age, and whose supposed to be mature and know what he wants out of life. In other words, it's high time he grew up and stopped acting like a HS boy.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Hi,
I am following up a few weeks later. I found out my ex is "hanging" out with a younger woman and this is because I asked him. He thinks she is great but they are both in no position to be ready for a relationship. Tells me he will never rule out anything for his future (including me) and he goes on to say how he has really thought about what he did wrong in our relationship so that he does not make the same mistakes again. I am hurt because he is not trying to get back with me now (we are living in different provinces) and that another woman will benefit from his new and improved nature. I am feeling rejected all over again and he continues to say I deserve better than him. I still love him and I guess I am needing help to stop feeling bad about myself. Thanks
AnswerHi Sara~
He's your ex for a reason. He can tell you anything he likes to; but that doesn't mean he's indeed a changed man all of the sudden. That's the beauty about being apart from someone, he can tell you what you want to hear. And thus try to convince you he's a new and improved man. When in reality he's probably just the same guy he was before.
My point is you need to move on with your life. You have to somehow find your self esteem and self-worth again. Now that he's out of your life, you can do just that. It's going to take some time though for you to see an improvement, as progress takes time.
Perhaps not having any contact with him anymore would help you to get over him and move on with your life.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask.
