QuestionI recently was pregnant with triplets and misscarried at about 12 weeks. I wanted things to go natural and I wanted my body to do it's own thing. however I bleed moderatly for abnout a month and then heavy for a week. My doctor said I need to go for this suction d&c for my own helth. I was bleeding to long and to much. I went to the hospital last friday 10-12 and had this done. Now I question if this was the right thing to do. I feel as though I have done something I should not have done. Is the suction used for abortions? What is it exactly? I picture it as a canister and it all gets sucked up, kinda like at the dentist. Did I make the wrong decision? Why am I so worried I was wrong to my 3 babies to do this?
AnswerHi Traci.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, you must be devastated.
It's likely that you had naturally passed your babies. I'm not sure how big they would have been but you may have noticed some large clots during the bleeding.
Your prolonged bleeding would have been caused by some left over tissue & your doctor was right to suggest a D&C. Prolonged bleeding can cause complications, especially if you lose too much blood.
A D&C (dilation & curettage) is a small and quick surgical procedure where your cervix is gently dilated and any remaining tissue is removed with suction. It is rather like the little dentist hoover! I'm not sure what it's put into but with me they examined what came out, so I assume it was some sort of container.
It is the same kind of procedure as an abortion BUT do remember that is not what you have had.
It's easy to feel guilty and beat yourself up about it, you almost blame yourself for your body not 'doing its job' properly. It's bad enough having to lose your babies, but it adds insult to injury that your body doesn't complete it naturally.
Please don't feel guilty as you have done nothing wrong. The bottom line is that your pregnancy was not to be, you let nature take it's course and now you're 'sweeping up' what's left so you have a clean slate...so to speak. Leaving it as it was would've made you very ill and no matter how much it hurts, your health had to come first.
When you talk about feeling wrong, this is because you have had some physical closure by having the last pieces of tissue removed from your body. From the moment you find out you're pregnant, you immediately start bonding with your unborn children.
Your guilt could be that by having the D&C, you're getting rid of the last traces of them. Because you had this done, it doesn't mean that you're pushing them aside or denying that they existed.
In fact, you're coming to terms with your loss and accepting that now your health has to come first.
Have you thought about doing something to commemorate them? Maybe lighting a candle or perhaps planting some seeds or a rose bush. I have a song I listen to, which I used to when I was pregnant. It sometimes makes me cry, but it brings back memories of how I felt when I had my little 'beanie' was in my belly. It's very comforting and even though it wasn't meant to be, I'll never forget them.
You're now on the road to recovery. Take some time off of work if you can to come to terms with what's happened. Maybe arrange a break away with your partner and have some time together.
Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve in whichever way it comes out. I know that at this time it feels like the pain will never go away, but time is a great healer and although you never get over it, you learn to accept it.
I wish you all the best and please do come back if you need any more help and advice, or if you just want a chat.
Kindest Regards
Sarah
