QuestionMy wife's hairdresser whom she has known for 20 years comes to our home to do my wife's hair. One Saturday while returning from the hardware store I was walking outside our home and overheard my wife telling her hair dresser the details of our marital issues. The volume of the conversation was loud enough that I could clearly her my wife venting. Many of her comments were negative, i.e. my husband is insecure, he is halfway Charlie, he is scatter brained etc. While I don't mind the venting some of the comments were crass and provided details which I do not consider public information. The hair dresser asked no questions and commented that he knew what my problem was. He then started to dissect my parents, whom he never met, and with his best therapeutic wisdom proceeded to analyze the roots and weaknesses of all concerns expressed. When I came into the house the conversation stopped and all was well with smiles all around.
AnswerI suggest that you tell your wife what you thought you overheard, and tell her that you feel very hurt and offended. If she denies saying these things, do not dispute or argue about it.
Simply say the following: "I do not want you to talk to other people about our marriage. If we cannot discuss things and resolve our own issues, then maybe we should talk to someone we both trust who can help us. Can we have an agreement that neither one of us will ever talk to other people about our problems unless we both agree that it is OK to do so?"
For more help with issues and communication in marriage, see the chapter on couple counseling in http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeutic-statements/dp/1442...
For counselling I recommend http://www.thecounsellors.com
