QuestionQUESTION: Okay so me and my boyfriend had gotten pregnant with a "condom baby" wore a condom, it never broke but i got pregnant...back in sept. I never told him, as he comes from a religous family and he would be dis-owned or kicked out or something, and i knew that if i told him and we decided to keep it, it would break him, if we decided to have an abortion....it would break him, i tried to save him from those feelings.. am i wrong?.... Right now in our lifes we are not fit to bring another into it. I have always said i would never, but i dont think anyone should say that until your standing in those shoes.
Anyways I was around 10 weeks pregnant when i had a surgical abortion on Nov 14th. There wasnt very much bleeding at all... like i wore a thin pantyliner and it wasnt a lot at all, then like a day or two later i didn't even need that, there was only a little bit when i wiped after peeing, about 2 1/2 weeks later me and my boyfriend made love, and he used a condom, but the condom broke. When we realized that, i went to the washroom right away and pee'd hoping i would get rid of whatever i could that was inside of me from him, also from the intercorse there was a bit of brown blood on me and him, its now been 5 1/2 weeks and still no period, i took a pregnancy test and it was a really dark negative with the most faint line making it positive, it was so faint i thought i was seeing things. I know that tests can show positive because of the hormones are still in me, but i just dont know what to think, because i reading all these other peoples stories and they bleed so much or for a week and i never even had that, i guess i'm just lost on what i should do, should i do another test?, should i wait for a period?, going to my doctors is tuff right now as its in a different town and i dont have my car insured, would a walk-in-clinic be able to help me? or take a blood test to see if i am pregnant still or again..
i dont have nausea anymore, my breast are not swollen and are not sore like they were. I think i'm stressing myself out even more and probably even prolonging my period, and i sit here and ponder it so much i think i am imagining cramps or discomfort in my womb area...sometimes i think i look like i have a baby bump.... am i crazy...
any words would be helpful as this entire thing has been kept secret... Your the first person i've told.
i'm so scared to go through that again. I jsut hope and pray i am not, because i can't have a baby, financially and everything i can't, but i'm scared i might fall into some sort of depression going through that again, i dont want anyone to know about it, and i feel lost and that theres no one to talk to.
anywords.....?
ANSWER: Hi, Lucy,
Yes, it sounds like a complicated situation. Thank you for being willing to confide in me. Although you should have made your question private.
I agree with you that people never know what they will do until they walk in those shoes.
I need to make you aware of some things. First of all, condoms don't work very well. You have now seen that twice. The best thing is not to take chances. Also, please know that peeing won't get rid of what is inside you, because it is in a different part of your body. And it is even possible to get pregnant if there isn't any penetration, though that is rare. And in your case, obviously, that isn't an issue.
The next thing is that we should never jump to conclusions about what other people would do. We are so often wrong. We don't know that finding out you were pregnant would have broken him. We also don't know that his parents would have disowned him. And I can't help but wonder what they will do if they ever find out you had an abortion.
You didn't say when you took the pregnancy test. If it was a few days ago, I recommend retesting. If it was in the past day or two, you should still retest in a couple of days. Most pregnancy tests, as far as I know, will show positive after 5 1/2 weeks.
Obviously, your mind is working overtime. That's not surprising. It could be the fact you are stressed out that is causing you not to have a period.
I wouldn't recommend you go to just any old walk-in clinic. You have no idea what kind of personnel they have. I'm a little less likely to trust a random health professional these days. Also, if your doctor did the abortion, I don't recommend you go to him anyway. If for some reason the abortion was botched, I'm not sure he would level with you.
Having an abortion to conceal a pregnancy isn't necessarily a good idea. Too much could go wrong, and then people will find out anyway, and then on top of the original problem, there will be the stigma of having had an abortion.
I would urge your boyfriend to pay attention to the teaching he got at home. One of the purposes of intercourse is to produce babies. Although you tried to be careful, there are many, many babies out there who were born in spite of this, for other people. As you mentioned, you had a "condom" baby. While a person might be lucky and not become pregnant from using a condom, if it is used just once, it is rare for people to use one just once. Sooner or later, the odds will get you.
There are a couple of things you can do. You can protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs by abstaining. Abortion won't deal with STDs. You can also find other ways to express affection. Any kind of penetration into your body can result in disease, however. Another thing you can do is learn how to tell when you are fertile. If you aren't pregnant this time around, there is a chance your hormones will be normal enough that you can tell. It's not foolproof, but it is the most reliable method around, provide you chart consistently. To learn more about this, go here:
http://fertilityuk.org/
Now the issue of your financial situation is something I want to address. There is help available. Please go here:
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
and look for a pregnancy center near you. They have access to good doctors you can trust. They can also do things like provide you transportation. And they can help with your financial issues. If you are having second thoughts about the abortion you had, they can also help with that. You do sound like someone who should not have a second abortion. You're not a good candidate, emotionally.
The people at the pregnancy center can help you with many of your issues.
Please let me know what happens, and stay safe!
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QUESTION: FOLLOOOWWWWWW UPPPPP :)
I got my period! Best christmas present for sure :)
thanks again
AnswerHey, that's great! Thanks so much for letting me know.
You might want to take some time to ask yourself what is the best way to prevent this from happening again. This is the only body you'll ever get, so please take care of it. Sometimes the pleasure isn't worth the consequences.
Try to learn how to tell when you are fertile if you can.
If your man respects you, he will not put you at risk.
Take care, and I hope your future is bright. Babies can make things more complicated, but they also bring untold joy.
You're very welcome! :) And thank you for the wonderful rating. It is very much appreciated.
