QuestionHi Pat,
i stumbled onto this site and have been spending the last hour or so reading over questions and yours and the others replies... Most are from women/girls that have already had abortions...
I myself have not had one... I have previously have had two miscarriages. One at 15 the other at 20.. Now here i sit as a 21yr old pregnant...almost 6wks...(i think)(next doc apt on Friday April 24, is for an ultrasound) This one differs because the two previous i was unaware of the pregnancy until the miscarriages... I'm finding myself completely confused and conflicted as what to do.... I'm a single female with no attachments/or real responsibilities and no real support systems other than friends and family (supporting) whatever choice i decide to make.... I don't know what choice to make... I used to always say that i would never get an abortion... I would never blame my innocent child for my mistakes by denying it life.... But now as i sit here in this very un-ideal pregnancy i cant help but think that by having this baby would be punishing it for a life of uncertainty and uphill battles... i have always envisioned having a husband or at least a longterm relationship and a stable home before i would even consider a family.... This baby if born wouldn't have the support it deserves as iam presently unable to be the sole provider.... But then i think that I'm being selfish and that this baby despite the circumstances of its conception is a blessing in my life, Gods wakeup call? Or a mistake that needs to be "taken care of"????? I'm petrified at any possible outcome, i don't feel as if I'm emotionally ready for this... Any words of wisdom in any way would be much appreciated....thanks in advance....
Tabitha.
AnswerHi, Tabitha,
It is true most questions come to me from women who have had abortions. I wish they had come to me before they did this kind of damage to themselves!
I am so glad you came while you still have a choice.
Given that you have already had two miscarriages, if I were in your position, I sure wouldn't take a chance on doing any damage to your body. Abortion is dangerous.
Given that you are petrified, please know that people don't usually make good decisions when they are in a panic.
I can't think of any worse punishment for a baby than an abortion. Even though it doesn't take long, it has to seem like an eternity. It is excruciatingly painful. Lots of us grow up in much less than ideal circumstances. That's the way life is. In fact, it's not good for children for things to be TOO perfect. A child won't develop any fortitude. Sooner or later, life will throw curve balls, and the child needs to be able to cope with these things.
Since you don't believe in abortion, you would be a very poor candidate for abortion. Remember, abortion is forever. I get so many messages from women who tell me not a day goes by that they don't think of their baby.
I think if you were to ask your baby what he or she would want, abortion would not be the answer. Along with all the troubles, there will also be moments of delight and joy. The baby who is aborted will never see the sun, feel the wind through her hair, smell flowers, listen to music or birds, hold a puppy, or any of the other wonderful things we can do. What does your baby deserve? Certainly not missing all of these things!
There is definitely help available. No, the situation isn't ideal, but if you have the support of your family, you are already way ahead.
Yes, a baby is a gift from God, and yes, I would agree that a baby is a wakeup call. God is calling you to a better life, a responsible life, with the joy a child can bring. You are aware that this is a baby. Your baby already has a heartbeat, brain waves, eyes and fingers! Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby.
In the end, if you still don't think you can take care of this baby, there is the possibility of adoption. I don't usually mention it this early, but I do want you to know you have options. These days, mothers can choose the parents, and can be kept informed of how their baby is doing.
To find help with the various problems you face, please go here and look for a crisis pregnancy agency in your area:
http://pregnancycenters.org/
They can provide information, counseling, and various resources for whatever needs you have, financially or otherwise.
Please take care of yourself and your baby. I will be here for you, and you can come and ask questions any time. If you would like the ongoing support of a group of women online, let me know, because I belong to groups like that. I will be praying for you both.
