Understanding Sexual Discrepancies in Marriage: Seeking Support

Question
Bill my question for you concerns what I feel is an addiction to my husband. We have been married for 6 years and since the begining of our relationship he has never been able to "climax" naturally, he ALWAYS has to mannually get off. 6 years! I don't feel he has ever cheated, but it's still a major turn off, Bill I think the man could go for hours without reaching a climax if he didn't end with masturbation. I always find hidden porn around the house. He dosen't think I'm aware. I think he suffers from a form of sexual addiction. How do I approach this to him without a huge argument. In the past when I would bring it up he would say something like I can't have sex with you like I want to, you always complain. Which is not true, but I refuse to have sex with my husband as if we were making a movie for others to review and purchase, those women make thousands of dollars a movie for faking it,which he seems to think the women in the videos get more enjoyment from that type of sex than the men who purchase the videos. Any advise to avoid an argument?

Answer
Probably through masturbation in his life before girlfriends and marriage, he has found an easier or lazier way of getting himself there. Now that there is a partner, he should have had to make a change, of course why he hasn't in 6 years is beyond me. All the porn just facilitates helping him get himself there. So what to do, usually this is a girl type problem, maybe change in positions may help. I know when I have trouble making it, after my wife does, I'll get her on top or maybe doggie style and I'll usually go right off, but I'm 55 and problems climaxing are a little more normal. I would simply set a time when you both can experiment, and just work on different things until it happens. Let him know it's your goal to get him there (without him helping). This is all aside from pschological or medical problems he may have. (afraid of getting you pregnant, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc.) About a year ago I was having problems keeping it up throughout, I never imagined I had high blood pressure and cholesterol of 220. Once I got those in line things were normal. Kind of like a woman, once he works out a way of getting himself there with you, it will get easier and easier as time goes on.

Bill