Planning Your Wedding Date: Balancing Tradition and Modern Life

Question
My Fiancee and I want to get married this summer. But our original plans were to get married in 2008. We got engaged in November and Im 21 and she is 20. Were both still in school and living together. We feel though however that if we live together and wait the 2 years that when we get married it wont have the same feeling as we would have been living together up to then. Her parents are all for the idea because it is mostly up to us. However, I havent told the idea to my parents because Im afraid they will think it is too soon. I feel though that it is our decision and whether or not they agree isnt the point. But I would love to have my parents there. What do I do? Thanks

Answer
Dear Aaron,

Thank you for contacting allexperts.com I hope that I can assist you with your question.

My thoughts are that since you are already living together and going to school the only difference from your being married is a piece of paper.

I think you both are rather young to make a commitment that should last you the rest of your life.  However, if you and your fiancee are mature enough to accept that commitment, I feel there is nothing to be gained by waiting an additional two years.

If you feel that your parents will be upset, you can always elope and then have a big party afterwards inviting your family and friends to celebrate the happy occasion.  By doing this you have avoided having to tell your parents in advance.  Also, by doing this you avoid all the unbelieveable stress and over-blown expense of planning a wedding.  My personal opinion is that weddings should be intimate affairs between just one or two people and the bride and groom, not some kind of circus event.

Either way, I think you have the right to make your own decisions, and since you are, essentially living as a married couple now, it would be better to make it "official" rather than wait two long years.

One thing I would suggest, however, is some pre-marriage counseling which you can probably obtain through your school's counseling department or through your church (if you are religious.  It will help you down the road, I guarantee it.

I say, go for it.

R. M. French