QuestionQUESTION: hi,
i am in a 6 yr relationship and were planning to get married this yr. my problem is that whenever i talk in a sarcastic ways he gets mad and leaves me , sometimes he speaks bad words . it hurts deeply , i dont know how to handle this guy pls help me . i love and want to be his wife but im also confuse.
ANSWER: Hi My~
I'd advise against marrying him if he's got that bad of a temper and if you have conflict with him and he runs away and leaves you. That behavior is simply unacceptable and it's irrational to act this way. Marriage is a partnership and it's about two ppl working together as a team. A marriage and/or relationship isn't just one-sided. How's he going to act when you have a real fight and you're not being sarcastic, but you have real, true and in depth problem that you need to resolve, is he going to turn around and run the other way? He's not behaving in a logical and rational way when it comes to your sarcasm. You can't run away from your problems in life, you have to face them and figure out ways to work them out, especially with your partner. I'd be very concerned that he's reacting this way. If you can't handle him now, how do you expect to be able to handle him when you're married? It seems as though his feelings go way deeper than you can imagine in the way he copes and deals with problems and issues in his life.
You need to sit down with him and have serious heart to heart talk with him. He needs to know how this is affecting you. And what you're willing to put up with in this relationship. If he's unwilling to change his ways and to modify his behavior and reactions to you, when you make him mad or upset. Then perhaps it's best if you don't marry him after all you, and you move on with your life w/o him in it. The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make.
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QUESTION: As i am reading your answer i was very satisfied but i did realized that i also have problems and issues in my life that i need to deal with.being a sarcastic partner, always putting him down that made his self concept down.additionally, i am the one who always provoke his impatient, hot temper attitude.
is there any other way that i can i change myself and him {hot tempered} also? thank you
AnswerHi Mich~
It's hard to admit when you have a character flaw in yourself, but you took a huge step in doing this. That doesn't excuse the fact that he's his own person and he's responsible for his own actions just like you are. If you don't like that you are this way, then you change it. It's never too late to make a change for the better. You have to figure out what you want to change and then some ways to go about it. It's good if you can get a good support system in place to help you make this changes for the better, such as not being so sarcastic to him or others, to not react to him in a split second (and that will be very challenging for you to). You have to catch yourself and redirect your attention/reaction elsewhere. You can start out with small things and then work your way up. Keep a journal about it and the progress you've made along the way. You have to learn to be patient with yourself and not be hard on yourself too. Make changes for YOU and b/c you want to be a better person. And he has to be accountable for his own reactions and the way he responds to you and others. I hope this helps you some.
