QuestionMy decision to abort came as a HUGE blow to my entire family. I was born and raised in a christian home, so they are all very against abortions. I am firm and confident in my decision to abort mainly because I am on a medication that WILL cause severe problems with the fetus and baby. I feel it would be wrong to risk deforming a child or suddenly stopping my medication which would surely put my life at major risk. I was very very close with my family - until the learned that I am going to get an abortion in a couple of weeks. Now, they wont even do as much as speak to me over the phone. They tell me that I'm killing their grandbaby and niece/nephew and that it is murder. I now feel so small and believe those things; however, that wont change my mind. My question is, should I apologize to them since this is hurting them so much???
AnswerHi, Anna,
I'm afraid that apologizing to your family won't do any good. They don't want you to kill their family member. I am sure they are all praying that you will change your mind.
You don't know that the medication WILL cause severe problems. I don't know how far along you are, but if you are not very far along, a medication that poses a problem is more likely to cause a miscarriage than a defect your child has to live with.
You should get a second opinion from a doctor who doesn't believe in abortion. The doctor you have now may not care if you have an abortion, and he may not be willing to deal with the issue. It's so much easier just to tell you there WILL be a problem. Many doctors are doing things like that now. He doesn't want to be sued if your baby isn't perfect, and this is happening far more than it should.
I know of too many cases where the medication is supposed to have caused a problem, and the baby was perfectly normal!
What medication are you taking? I'll research it.
I will speak to you as a Christian, to another Christian. God has a purpose for this baby's life, even IF there is a deformity. He knew what He was doing when He decided to give you this child. He is asking you to protect your child.
My sister has a son with Down Syndrome. When she was pregnant with him, the doctor wanted to do the usual tests, and she turned him down, because she said she wouldn't have an abortion anyway. Just a few days after he was born, she called me and told me he had Down Syndrome. She then said, I will help him be the best he can possibly be.
And what he could be astonished us all. By the time he was 3 1/2, he had the language development of a five year old! I have a videotape of him having a philosophical discussion with his brother at about this age. Now that he is 18, he is interested in learning foreign languages, and he is currently working on German, Spanish, and sign language. Again, I am astonished at his receptivity and ability. At the time he was born, their family had a lot of conflict because of some medical conditions various people had. This new baby healed these relationships almost completely. It was truly a miracle, and I knew that God intended her to have that baby. What if she had refused God's gift? I wouldn't want to refuse a gift from God. In fact, at the time, I was jealous that God didn't give him to me, but again, He knew what He was doing. The time I have had with him has been incredibly precious.
Obviously, he isn't your usual kid. But I love him with all my heart.
Whenever we go to a restaurant, he likes to thank the server for the service given. When they were visiting here, we went to a Chinese restaurant, and he asked us how to say "Thank you" in Chinese. So we told him, and he thanked the waiter, and the waiter nodded his head. Then when I visited with them just recently, we again went to a Chinese restaurant. This time, he thanked the waiter in German, and I explained he needs to thank him in Chinese. So I told him what it was again, and he thanked the waiter, and the waiter started saying whole sentences in Chinese! It still makes me get goose bumps all over thinking about it. As a result of having this child, my sister now has a ministry to parents with children with Down Syndrome. She is incredible!
For you to have an abortion could alienate you from God. Not that He would reject you, but you could reject Him. I have seen so many cases where a woman was absolutely certain she wanted an abortion, and afterward, she suffered terribly from having done it. One woman, several years ago, was positive she wanted an abortion, and she said she never wanted to be a mother. And she went ahead and had it, and after that, she became suicidal twice. The first time, I was never so scared in all my life! A friend and I sat up and talked to her all night over the internet to keep her from doing it. The bad part is that she lives over 3000 miles away from both of us. We have kept in touch, and we are friends. Not too long ago, she told me someone at work wanted to have an abortion, and she said to me, "PLEASE talk her out of it! My abortion ruined my life!"
Please keep in mind that ALL mothers worry about their babies being normal, so what you are feeling is not unusual, and during the first trimester, your hormones are also working against your peace of mind. Give your baby a chance. You may think this will be a burden to your child. The truth is, almost always it is much more of a burden to the parents than to the child. Most disabled people are very happy with their lives.
Anna, I will be praying for you and your baby. Please seek God's will. Go to a pro-life doctor and get a second opinion. You may be completely wrong about the medication, and it's not fair for you to find out after it's too late.
Hugs!
