Navigating Difficult Pregnancy Decisions: A Teenager's Story

Question
Im a teenager who didnt want the baby at 1st but that was because i was scared and confused. She wanted it and i didnt so we priced an abortion and realized it cost to much so we agreed to keep it. As the months moved on I grew attached to the baby and she did as well, but her mother found out she was pregnant and threatened her to get an abortion. We planned everything out, since she is under age by law she cant runway from home and not only that but she was scared to go anywhere. So in the end a week later just before she would've been a day over the abortion limits she gets the abortion. Im still with her and its been a whole year but everyday i think about it. i just need some advice.

Answer
Tyshon,

I am so sorry this happened to the two of you. In my opinion, her parents committed serious child abuse. Of course, that doesn't bring your baby back, and my heart goes out to you both. There are counseling and other services available to people in your position. Increasingly, they are also helping men. You can find a local crisis pregnancy agency by looking in the Yellow Pages under "abortion alternatives" or go here to find one in your area: http://pregnancycenters.org/ The programs are usually run by women who have experienced abortion, and who have healed emotionally and spiritually.

I don't know what religious faith you profess, but I often talk to people in terms of God, Who forgives those who sincerely repent. Obviously, the decision to have an abortion was not yours, so the issue of forgiveness is not quite so clearcut. However, for any role either of you played, this forgiveness is freely available. God already paid for this. It is important to allow yourselves to feel anger, and then to forgive her parents, and also to allow yourselves to grieve. I can go into much more detail about all of this if you wish to explore it. Don't be afraid to help anyone else facing the same kind of abusiveness.

It will probably help if I explain that forgiveness is a decision, not an emotion. It is the decision to accept the hurt, and not hold it against that person. This isn't easy, but it's very healing.

I will pray for both of you. Take care.