Questionhi. how can i help a couple (with a 3 yr. old) that have been apart for about 8 months now. we were hoping that things would resolve, but they haven't and now my wife and i want to try to help. what are definite do's and don'ts, and how do we get started. i've sat and talked with them individually to let them clear their chests and get their points of view on situations and asked them if they were ok with the idea of us helping. they both agreed so far, and i warned them already that they may not like some of things they hear from each other - or even from me/us. the child is our god daughter and we don't want her to be a statistic from splitting parents. so how do we go about this?
AnswerHi Peter~
You are doing a nice thing for your friends. The whole point is to make sure they want to remain together as a married couple. If they don't love each other,or want to make it work,then you are probably not doing them any favors really. I honestly don't believe that anyone should stay together for the sake of the children. It ends up doing more harm than good. Children are very resilient they can bounce back from anything,including a divorce,much easier than they can into teenhood or adulthood.
I would urge them to attend some marriage counseling. This way a counselor can help them get to the issues they are having problems with. And a counseler can give them tips,examples on how to work on their relationship and marriage and make it better. It's going to take time whatever they decide to do,whether it's get back together or eventually split.
The point here is no matter what they do,they need to think of the child. They need to first be parents to their child,and put the relationship and problems second. A child can have two loving parents married or divorced.
