Questionmy friend told me wk ago that she was pregnant 9 weeks in fact by a fella in our town she is a huge party girl and drinks smokes alot and was a little unsure who the father was at first to my disgust but being a friend she informed me she will be getting rid of it being from Ireland it remains illegal so at 16wks or 17 she has booked herself in for a termination i know its the right thing to do for her as she is deffinitley not capable of being a mum right now I've taken her problem hugely on board researched about it while she has been out partying having a great time I'm worried for her i don't know how to advise her ESP I'm the only one she has told i don't want her to regrets it in years to come 16wks seems very late please help concerned friend
AnswerHi, Ciara,
Why would your friend wait until 16 weeks? That seems a little strange. How do you KNOW it's the right thing to do? How about adoption? If you think the baby would be damaged by all that drinking and nobody would want to adopt him or her, I can tell you there ARE people willing to do so.
I have a family member who was doing all sorts of really irresponsible things. She had a child, and she has almost totally straightened out her act. It happens. But if your friend is determined to have an abortion, there probably isn't much you can do to dissuade her. You could talk about the potential medical consequences, but I'm not sure she would change her mind for that reason, since she is already taking chances with her health. I think all you can do is talk to her, tell her you disagree with her decision, and be there for her if and when she has emotional problems. From what I have heard, traveling outside Ireland to get an abortion in England is fairly common, and nobody seems to do anything about it. I'm not sure what the law says. You might know. I wish I could offer you more encouragement, but the fact is, unless she wants to protect her baby, it isn't going to happen. And she is the only one who can.
As long as you believe it's the right thing for her to do, you probably won't be all that effective talking her out of it. And other than that, the consequences will happen, regardless of what you and I might prefer. I think the only two choices you have are either to try to talk her out of it, or just be there for her, and hope that you can help her pick up the pieces. Her regrets may not happen for a very long time. Or they could be immediate. Watch especially her state of mind on the date she would have given birth, and on the anniversary of the abortion. Those are the two most dangerous times from an emotional standpoint. Try to make sure you are together with her on those days, and days leading up to and following.
It really sounds like her problems are fairly deep seated. She doesn't have much self respect. So it isn't just the abortion, but everything she is doing.
I'll say a prayer for you. I also recommend you pray for your friend. You never know about that, though God lets people make their own mistakes.
