Navigating Pregnancy After Loss: Addressing Fears and Concerns

Question
I am a 38 yr.old mother of 3, expecting my 4th child in early november. I lost a baby about a year ago and was completly heartbroken, still am.I have a lot of fear this time I think because I was so devistated over the loss.Also,when my youngest was born(8 yrs. ago), they induced my labor, and my epidural was missed placed so I heard bells and was in a daze and felt like I was going to die.Im worried about getting another one, Im scared I might not be able to handle the birth without one, Im worried that anxiety will make me passout.Do you think this time will be easier since its my 4th? do you think I should chance the epidural?  I realize that I am full of fear and Im tring not to drive myself crazy. Any info will be appreciated,I want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy not worry the whole time. Thank you.  

Answer
Hello Melinda- you need to be working with a midwife- she will be happy to spend the time you need to heal from your last birth experience. If that healing is not done, this birth could be very difficult. Find your local mdiwives and interview several to find one that you like. You might enjoy a website called BirthLove. All the best- Cheri.