QuestionDear Jackie,
I am not yet sure if i am preganat since i am not yet due for my period, however i may be and i want to have this information just in case. Well, here goes.
My boyfriend and i live together but presently he is in England trying to start a better life for us which i want very much, however there is a possibility that i may be pregnant and if i am i don't want him to know about it.
He would not agree to an abortion and i know the smallest problem he faces in England he would give it all up for me and the baby, not that i don't appreciate what he would be willing to do but priorty should be put in place, i think we can have a baby some other time. I am also going back to do some more studying and having a baby would be hard to keep up with.
So my question is,is it possible to have an abortion without going to my doctor and if so how early do i need to do this. I really would like to have some advise
AnswerHi, Melissa,
Thanks for your question. I will answer your question, but I don't feel comfortable leaving you with just that answer and no additional resources. I'd like to talk with you more if possible. My email address is jacquefromtexas@yahoo.com.
So, first, are you in the states? Because I can recommend a place that provides free pregnancy information, tests, ultrasounds and referral that might be better suited to help you. If you do live in the states or Canada, here's a link to finding a Pregnancy Resource Center (PRC):
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp
Now, there is no way to get an abortion without a doctor's visit. Even if you chose the pill method (which I wouldn't encourage, since it's killed 12 women thus far), you'd still need 2 visits to the clinic. They also charge you for the pregnancy test and ultrasound (around 40 dollars), which is why I recommend getting one free at a PRC. Also, if you haven't missed your period, it might be another month before you can have an abortion (there must be a heartbeat, which doesn't occur until around the 4th week).
Since I might not have another chance to speak with you, I feel compelled to tell you that I get a good half of my questions on this site about women struggling with infertility following an abortion. You say that you think you can have a baby some other time, and you might could, but it's not guarenteed. It's never guarenteed. I feel obligated to tell you that, especially since I worked in adoption and saw the pain of couples that loved eachother, desperately wanted a baby and couldn't have one. This grief was compounded by those that chose not to have a baby in the past because it wasn't their timing.
I hope this helps, Melissa, although I doubt it. I'd love to hear how things go for you or talk to you more. Good luck, regardless. :)
-Jacqueline, MSSW
