Understanding Chlamydia, Abortion, and Relationship Communication

Question
my wife has just hd an abortion. we have 2 children and been together 7 years? i just found a clamidia test result sent to her in post. she kept this from me and when i asked her about it she said this was routine?

Answer
Hi, James,

It may well be that some doctors will do a routine chlamydia test. If there is some other reason, she's not ready to talk about it. I wouldn't make an issue of it. In fact, a lot of women may have sex with someone before getting married, and have chlamydia all these years. And it's not uncommon for a woman to be totally unaware it happened. Unfortunately, chlamydia is extremely common, and it can cause serious damage to a woman's reproductive system. So I would think that any prudent doctor would test for it, especially if he or she has asked the woman about her previous sexual experiences, or if she is having an abortion. Here is a good site with more information: http://www.cdc.gov/std/Chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm

It would wise for your relationship not to put any pressure on her about it. If you have been married for seven years, it seems unlikely she is doing anything unacceptable. Trust is very important, so try to trust her. If she knows that you will treat her with love and concern, she will let you know if there are any issues she needs to talk about. Be open to her about her other concerns in life.

Good luck with this!