QuestionQUESTION: ok i had an abortion March 11, 2010. everything seemed to go smooth right after i lost my prego symtoms. didnt bleed the first day but did the second and passed to big clots. well on april 12, 2010 i got my second period that seemed normal just a few bad cramps. now its may 17,2010 and no sign of my period. i have had sex all protected. i had sex a few days before i was supposed to start and the condom came off but he hadnt ejaculated yet and he did that on my chest but i took plan b the next day just to be safe. im freaking out and dk why i havent gotten my period yet. i didnt go to my follow up app cause i had school. and rescheduled and when i got there they told me i had waited to long and would have to pay 75 dollars for my checkup and i didnt have the money so couldnt be seen
ANSWER: Hello, Emily,
To begin with, condoms don't work, and you had a failure. Sex a few days before you are supposed to start having your period (if this is what you mean), probably won't cause pregnancy, because fertility is about 14 days before the onset of a woman's period. But you have been taking chances by having sex with a condom, because they only delay pregnancy; they don't prevent it. And taking Plan B is not only dangerous, but it will further mess up your cycle.
At this point, you should be able to test for pregnancy. If I read your message correctly, you should have had your period more than a week ago. Taking pills does mess up a woman's cycle, so there is a chance that's all it is. But you can still check.
You need to think seriously about what you are doing. If you continue to have sex, you are going to end up pregnant again eventually, and given your circumstances, I imagine you would probably want to have a second abortion. And each abortion does more damage; the more abortions you have, the greater the damage. Abortion ALWAYS damages a woman's body.
You shouldn't have to live with this kind of fear. You deserve better. Abortion is dangerous and can kill you. Because of the abortion you already had, you are at much greater risk of getting breast cancer. It can strike as early as in your 30's, and it kills 1/4 of its victims. Nobody knows the long term consequences of pill abortions, and nobody is trying to find out. Instead, they're just letting women be guinea pigs.
You obviously need more information. I recommend you go to an organization that helps pregnant women, and let them give you some information. These organizations are all over the United States. They offer free pregnancy tests, and also many of them can do free ultrasounds. They also offer many different kinds of help. To find an organization near you, please go to this web site:
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
Please take care of yourself and stop taking chances! Let me know how things go.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: i woke up this morning and got my period! thanks for your help i found one of the save a life centers near me also i plan on making an app to to get myself checked out. and you are 100% right about me living reckless. and i do deserve better. i have the most beautiful six month old whose father loves me and i love very much who is in jail and i have been completely stupid since he left. but things are going to change for me and her. and you wont have to worry about me asking anymore shameful questions. thanks for everything
-Emily
ANSWER: Hello, Emily,
This is all wonderful news! You have been given a second chance. Why is the father of your baby in jail?
Don't worry about asking "shameful" questions. I am really glad that you have a beautiful daughter, and that you will make life better for both of you. You're very welcome! It's messages like yours that make this worthwhile. Take care.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Me and her father have been together for 3 years and when we first started dating he got into some trouble for selling drugs. And they just charged him in November of 2009 when or little girl turned a month old. And thats when everything went down hill, i didn't know how to deal with it i felt lost, abandoned, and alone and ended up getting mixed up with my ex. its just alot harder than i thought it would be. but i like talking to you its helped me get alot off my chest and realize what iv been doing. thanks for everything.
-Emily
AnswerHello, Emily,
I am glad I have been able to be of help. :) Hopefully, your baby's father will stop having anything to do with drugs. How soon will he get out? Are you able to see him? He has something to straighten out his life for: his daughter.
We women often have to go it alone with our children, and we're a lot stronger than we think. It boils down to being willing to take a stand on what is right. Please feel free to come and talk to me any time, and take care of yourself and that little one!
