QuestionQUESTION: I am terrified and full of regret. I have had a few surgical abortions that im not proud of. I am a proud parent of a beautiful 2 yr old girl. My question is having those several procedures done will it effect me getting pregnant? I had 2 after my daughter was born. I am in a serious relationship right now and we had unprotected sex. We went to get the morning after pill but we decided not to take it. This happen two weeks ago and well when i woke up this morning i experienced some bleeding. i usually dont start my period till the last week of the month. If i am not pregnant after having unprotected sex does this mean that i cant ever get pregnant? I hope you can understand my question and help me.
ANSWER: Hello, Adelia,
Unfortunately, I'll be away for a couple of days, so I can't write a long answer right now, but I want to tell you a few things. First, I am offering to help you work through your regret. There are also organizations all over the United States that offer counseling. You can find one near you by going to this web site:
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
I do understand your question. If you are expecting your period a week from now, you wouldn't have been fertile two weeks ago. Fertility happens about 14 days before the onset of the next menstrual period. Whether or not you get pregnant from a particular occasion has no bearing on whether or not you might get pregnant in the future. Good on you for not taking the morning after pill!
About 10% of women who have one surgical abortion never conceive again. After 3 abortions, it's 50%. These are just averages. In an individual case, they really don't mean anything. You just have to wait and see. If you learn to tell when you are fertile, and you try for about a year, it's time to be concerned.
I may be unavailable for a couple of days, because I may be unable to access the internet, so if you don't hear back from me right away, I haven't forgotten you, and you will be in my prayers. Please know that you can heal from your regret.
If you write back, then when I write to you, you will get a notice. If I just try to revise this message, you probably won't get one, so it is best if you are able to write back and tell me a little more about your situation. It will be helpful. In particular, if you tell me a bit about your religious beliefs, this will be helpful. Please take care.
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QUESTION: Thank you so much, I feel a bit better after your advice! I know that its my conscience that has me terrified. I wasn't aware of when im fertile or not. I am thinking of going to get a check up to see if my hormones are abnormal. Maybe that will help me as well. I appreciate you taking your time to answer my question.
AnswerHello, Adelia,
You are most welcome. You can get more information about how to tell when you are fertile by going to this web site:
http://www.fertilityuk.org/
I am away, but in a couple of days, I will talk to you about your feelings, and I'll stick with you and help you work things through.
Please take care. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
