QuestionYour answer to Maggie was the most revolting put down and I think you should apologize to that poor woman! Hopefully she didn't blow her brains out!
I know exactly what she is saying & feeling! I have a husband which I married because I thought he was going to blow his brains out & I felt sorry for him. The idiot was 25 yrs. old & never had a conversation with a woman. He was & is extremely quite & shy. I thought, as did everyone around me, including his family, think that he would be good to me & I had every intention of being good to him even though I wasn't in love with him. This idiot has done nothing but put me down since we got married 6 years ago. He has turned his back on me during the worst times of my life. I know exactly how Maggie feels that no matter what she did, her husband wasn't satisfied!!!!! I never put my husband down. I cashed in some of my savings so we could buy a house. I worked 10 hour days 4 days a week driving an hour each way to & from work. I made more than he did before he became a mgr when he transfered to the area we are at. I'm the one who had the savings when we got married. Even though we had a little bit of money, this idiot didn't care that I was getting so stressed out trying to make sure our house was being built in a half way decent way, working 10 hr days with the worst people I have ever met, knowing that the sadistic mgr was wanting to fire me because she didn't like me & didn't want me using the restroom because it could take me up to an hour because of a health problem I never had checked out. I had to worry about living with my sister in law wondering when I was going to do something to set her off. Taking care of my animals, trying to go to the doctor & have tests to get a note explaining why my body didn't work properly & it took me so long to use the restroom. There is so much more that went wrong in my life at that time & this went on for 10 months! My idiot husband who does not use his head for anything, couldn't see that I was about to go over the edge. I wanted to get an apartment closer to where we were relocating to but, No! He couldn't have that! He wanted more money!!! I lost my mind & any happiness that I had & my self confidence! I lost it all!!! And do you know, that no matter what I did, this idiot was not happy with me! Our house is the most organized house from any of our family & friends. I spent time working at a job, then coming home trying to put everything together at home, spreading my legs for this pig even though I never had any pleasure when I have intercourse but, I did it all for this idiot and he still was not happy. This idiot does not open his mouth very often (very rare) but, when he does, the only thing that comes out of it is to put me down or put more pressure on me to do something. I have wanted to die for the last 6 years. Especially the last 3 yrs. If we had a loaded gun in this house, I would have used it! I have always been patient with this guy & tried to be there for him. I never put this idiot down until two days after my animal died & I told him I was taking it really hard (I was at the end of my rope & very suicidal). This idiot stood in front of me in a grocery store with the stupidest look on his face while some blond loud bimbo on a cell phone walked behind him. He had that-I really want to look-look on his face and as soon as I turned around to grab an item from the shelf & turned right back around, this idiot turned around to look at the bimbo. He even moved his head to try to catch her before she went around the corner. This idiot spit in my face!!! I told him at the beginning of our relationship that I can't handle the guy that I'm with looking at another girl. I wish I wasn't that way, but everyone is different. This idiot yelled abusively at me calling me a liar & telling me that he did not look at any girl & that I need to have my head examined. One thing that I am not, I'm not stupid & I did not imagine this idiot looking at another girl at the worst time of my life. Everytime I talked to someone about the way this guy has treated me, everyone has said Well, maybe your not doing this or maybe your not doing that for him & so on and went on to accuse me of being the one at fault. His sister even thought I was over-reacting when I told her he yells at me so loud & forcefully that he showers me with so much spit that comes out between the gap in his front teeth. She used to think I was over-reacting until she heard it first hand while he was using the phone at her house while he talked to me. She got to hear him calling me stupid & calling me a slut and other names. My brother, before he died of cancer got to hear my husband's abusive talking to me. I have had so many people blaming me for the way my husband acts & things he has done towards me just like you have blamed Maggie for the things her husband has done, said & acted. How dare you tell that woman that it is practically her fault! Also, there is nothing wrong with her for getting upset that her husband is looking at porn. You have no right to excuse men for the nastiness that most of them have! I have seen a lot of doctors & counselors who don't seem to have open minds & seem to put some of their patients down. I'm not saying I'm smart but, I do try to have an open mind & not put someone down because something bothers them that I don't understand. I hear so many idiots (men & way too many women)excusing men for them being sexual & them acting the way that they do, that no wonder they are getting away with it and our world is getting nastier! I have read an article on the internet about Emotional Cheating (unfortunately I don't have the website, but I'm pretty sure it was on a men's internet magazine. Maybe it was askmen.com) Maybe you should read it! Maybe you should read a lot more articles before you start putting someone down on things that hurt them. I think you owe Maggie an apology!!!! You also need to learn how to spell. I did not check my spelling because my response is too long, but then, I'm not the professional either that is responding to the public!
AnswerDear Mary,
Despite the fact that you have no question in your message to me, I have chosen to answer you.
I'm terribly sorry that your life has been such a horrible event. However, since I have had an absolutely wonderful life filled with complete joy and happiness and have a wonderful, satisfying, joyful marriage filled with love, I would say that you have no business telling me that my advice was wrong.
It breaks my heart that there are women such as you and Maggie who seem determined to go through life being unhappy victims of their own existance. Poor, poor Mary and Maggie - they are so so so right and the big bad world is just against them. It's those bad, nasty MENs fault isn't it. Oh, those bad, nasty, porn-looking men! Oh, doesn't it make you just want to stomp your little foot?
But seriously. Please grow up. Please stop having children that you are poisoning to be as mean and hateful and pathetic as you are. Please just take your friend Maggie and go away someplace where decent people don't have to deal with you.
Thank you and have a nice day. I have to go give my wonderful, caring, loving, sweet, affectionate, considerate husband a kiss now. Bye.
R.M. French
