Reconciliation After Separation: A Guide to Moving Back Home

Question
My wife and I have been separated for 4 months. She asked me to leave after an adverse reaction to a prescribed medication caused me to become violent (not witnessed by the kids, no prior history of violence). This last weekend I had to leave work to come home and help with our 13 year old son's violent behavior. We have decided that me moving back and actively working towards reconcilliation was the best idea for us and the kids. We are waiting a couple of days to prevent the oldest son from thinking it was his actions that caused us to get back together. But my question is how do we transition back together? How do we explain this to the kids? We plan on sleeping separately and working on other aspects of our marriage. We can't just jump back into our old routine. Nor do we want to. We need to change the way our marriage was in order for it to work. We have been married for 14 years. Three kids 13  and 5 y/o boys, 10 y/o girl. I just don't want to do something wrong in an already complicated and delicate situation.  

Answer
Doug,

Since anger and violent behavior issues are not only yours it indicates that your prescribed medication is not the cause but the trigger. The problems are generated by the interaction effect of your (both) personalities and marriage style.

You and your wife need professional counseling. There is no generic answer to your question: ...how do we transition back together?...

It seems that your 'story' would require 2-3 sessions before a professional will have a reasonable info in order to provide a professional opinion.

See my site for a paid service, as one option.

Regards,
 
Dr. Joseph Abraham
 
http://www.dr-joseph.com