QuestionQUESTION: Sarah, I logged to find information on blighted ovum and noticed this message board. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum about 3 weeks ago, at approximately 5 weeks gestation. I still have not had any bleeding. As of two days ago, they are still seeing a gestational sac, so I don't believe the miscarriage went by unnoticed. My hormone levels are normal....do they have to start going down to actually miscarry? Emotionally, the past three weeks hae been so hard. I'm just wondering how long this is going to take. I know you can't tell me that, but any insight would be helpful. I would like to hear the details of why your experience went so wrong, if you don't mind sharing.
Thank you,
Jennifer
ANSWER: Hello Jennifer
I would be delighted to share my experience with you, that's what I am here for :0)
Firstly, I am sorry that we have met under these circumstances. Waiting for a natural miscarriage is a very upsetting experience and the longer it goes on, the worse it gets. I know exactly how you feel.
I shall relay my experience to you, it may help you to understand a little more about what is going on with you and what to expect.
I found out I was pregnant when I was a week late. The 2 pink lines came up immediately and strong. It wasn't planned as I was told in my early 20s that due to severe endometriosis it was unlikely I would conceive.
My dates were worked out and I was told that I was 4wks 5 days.
A week later I had some spotting. This WAS spotting, a light brown stain when wiping but I knew that something wasn't right. I had woken up with slight tummy cramp so I rang the midwife who advised me to make an appointment with a GP & ask to be referred to the early pregnancy clinic.
Unfortunately (and suprisingly being as it was a lady doctor) the GP I was booked in with didn't want to send me. She said that it happens a lot and they wouldnt be able to tell at nearly 6wks if anything was going on. I took her word for it and, as the bleeding had stopped, i tried not to worry.
I was 10wks 5days and looking forward to my 12wk scan. My tummy had started to expand slightly & I felt pregnant! I was tired and had a little sickness but I enjoyed every moment of it. My partner wasn't particularly happy but this was a blessing which myself and my family welcomed with open arms.
I'd been out that day but felt very unwell. My partner had come home and I was watching TV when I started to get cramps. They didn't feel like the normal stretching cramps you usually get during pregnancy. At one point I was doubled over and I panicked. When I went to the toilet I noticed a dark brown stain on my loo paper. I had another cramp and the dark brown turned into red.
My partner took me up to casualty who sent me straight down to the Gynae unit. The doctor gave me an extranal scan but couldn't detect anything. I naively thought they'd miscalculated my dates, I didn't think I was as far on as they thought anyway!
The doctor asked if they could do an internal scan. I agreed they could do whatever they needed to find out what was going on. He showed me on the screen what everything was. There was a little, kidney shaped sac with a white pinpoint in it. He called for the consultant who explained that the pregnancy hadn't developed. The sac was very small and mis-shapen and the embryo hadn't developed properly. He said it didn't look good and offered me a D&C, or I could do 'conservative management' and let the miscarriage happen.
I was dazed for a while before it sank in that the pregnancy wasn't going to happen.
I sat and cried in the nurses arms. I kept thinking that this doesn't happen to me, it only happens to other people.
I decided to let it happen naturally and went home with a leaflet. I was told it would be like a heavy period and if I bled for more than one week, I was to come back.
As I left the hospital, it felt like my World had crumbled. Everything had stood still. Time had stopped.
That night I rang my Mum & Dad. My partner stayed at home the next day and we went out, trying to get back to normal.
We went to the supermarket shopping. I'd had really bad cramps and after we had finished shopping, I sat down before we went to the car. As I was sat in the foyer, I felt a really strange sensation in my tummy. It was a pop. I was prepared for the bleeding and thought I'd go to the loo to check everything was ok.
I sat down on the loo and felt something go, followed by a gush. As it was a disabled loo, I could hear someone outside but I couldn't move off of the loo. Eventually an assistant came to see if I was ok. I managed to pad myself with loo paper and tell her what had happened.
She fetched my partner and the first aider, who herself had a miscarriage. They phoned for an ambulance and the paramedic had experienced a miscarriage too. It was a comfort to be around people who understood.
I was put in a side room at the hospital and the doctor felt my cervix. They also did an internal scan and told me that I still had some tissue left, so I would have to go in for a D&C anyway. I saw on the screen that the sac had gone, I knew that was the first thing to go as I felt it pass when I was on the loo.
They put me on a drip that caused contractions to help loosen any tissue and gave me a very large shot of pethodin, which made me incredibly woosy and sick. I did pass a couple of very big clots which was frightening, but no suprise. I breathed through the contractions and the sister explained that the pains were worse as there was no baby for my tummy to work against. I was basically experiencing labour!
I went in for surgery 7hrs later at 12.30am. I was in there for about 20mins and was told in the morning that they removed some more large clots and it was successful.
At 11:30am I was up, dressed and sent home. They gave me a leaflet and that was that.
I felt very lost. I had no idea what had happened, what was going to happen and how to deal with it. Like you, I got straight on the net and found great support and comfort from others who had experienced the same thing. It's amazing how miscarriage is so common yet because of it's sensitive nature is so little talked about. However, I have found that most women are happy to talk about it openly.
So, whats it all about?
A blighted ovum or anembryonic pregnancy, is when the embryo doesn't develop properly. Its thought that early on during conception or when the cells start to divide, a chromosomal abnormality prevants the embryo from developing properly. This could be due to an old egg or old sperm. Purely a case of 'bad timing'. The embryo is then re-absorbed into your body.
However, the placenta and sac (which produces the pregnancy hormones) continues to develop so you still think you're pregnant. This is why your hormone levels are still steady. Eventually the body recognises the embryo isn't developing and you'll start to bleed. Some women experience a 'missed miscarriage' which means that it's not discovered til the 12wk scan that the embryo has stopped developing. The body just carries on as normal.
It's good that you're being monitered. This makes sure that you aren't mis-diagnosed as you're still at an early stage and dates can sometimes be out. Please don't allow this to get your hopes up, but it has been known that the pregnancy is too early on and cannot be seen. I take it your hormones are steady? You may find in the next couple of weeks that they'll start to drop, this will then indicate that your body has recognised a problem and you won't be far from the start. You may experience cramps and then bleeding. In reference to timing, I wish I could tell you but everyone is different. It's often a waiting game and if nothing happens it will be reccomended that you have a D&C for the sake of your health.
I wish that I had insisted that I was sent to the early pregnancy clinic. From what I was told, the pregnancy stopped developing very early on and would've been indicated even at 6wks. My midwife and usual GP were not happy about this! Had I known how awful my miscarriage was going to be, then I would have gone for a D&C. The whole experience was very distressing and I feel I could have saved myself the upset had I been properly informed. It was nothing like a heavy period and wasn't prepared for the pain and the amount of tissue I lost.
It's not that it went wrong, I believe that I didn't need to go through what I had, had things been done properly & I'd had the right information to make a good decision.
I've put in a few details & feelings but tried to stick to the basics, I hope it's helped.
Not all miscarriages are like mine, so don't let it frighten you. I'd like to think that others can learn from mine & make the choices that are right for them.
If you need any more help with anything or just want a chat, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Kindest Regards & Best Wishes
Sarah
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Sarah, thank you for your quick and detailed response. I do not have another question but wasn't sure how to just reply. I do appreciate your honesty and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think it's the worry and not knowing how and what would happen that has been on my mind so much. It's sad to know there's so many others out there that are going through the same thing, but comforting to know that we're reaching out to help each other. I hope I can chat with you again once this happens...I think I'll need some support and I have no one close by that really understands. Thank you Sarah, and take care.
Jen
AnswerHi Jen.
If in my time on Allexperts.com I help just one person, it makes it all worthwhile for me. I do apologise if some of it was a bit graphic, but too much detail is more helpful than not enough!
I threw myself into books and the internet as I had no idea what was going on and why. The doctors see this thing every day and although I was well looked after, hey didn't tell me what could have caused it and why. Was it my fault? Most miscarriages cannot be prevented, it's just Mother Natures way of saying 'This isn't growing properly, so it's the best thing'. It's nobodys fault, just a cruel twist of nature.
I like to compare it to a cake.....the ingredients weren't weighed out right, too much flour or not enough baking soda, so the cake isn't cooking properly. So you start again and have another go!
If you're waiting for it to happen naturally, do go out prepared with plenty of towels. Have a mobile phone on you in case you get stuck and don't be afraid to call an ambulance if, like me, the bleeding is too much to deal with.
I can see a light at the end of the tunnel from all of this. My partner left me 2 months after the miscarriage, so I would've been on my own anyway. My child could have been born with severe disabilities and had no quality of life, I think that would hurt even more. I now know I can at least concieve and I'm dating a very loving and caring man who understands and supports me. My miscarriage only happened in June so the pain is still raw, but it does get better.
You are MORE than welcome anytime to come back if you need me. I answer my emails as fast as possible.
It may be an idea to see if there is a local pregnancy loss group where you can meet other women who have been through the same. Its estimated that 1 in 4 women experience a miscarriage....and those are the ones who are medically diagnosed with one! Do think of that when you walk down the street and take comfort in knowing that you're not alone.
Take care of yourself and let me know how you get on.
Kindest Regards & Best Wishes
Sarah
