QuestionI am 13 years old and I am 4 weeks pregnant. I have not gone to a doctor yet because I haven't told my mom. I am thinking about abortion. When you get an abortion, do you need and signatures or anything from your parents? Should I just tell my mom? HELP!
AnswerHi, Samantha,
Your parents are responsible for you legally. If you get hurt, they will have to pay for your medical care. Yes, you should tell your mom. However, if this concerns you, and you don't feel ready to do that, you can go here:
http://www.pregnancycenters.org/
and find information about a center in your area. They will help you with the problems, and they will even help you tell your mom. Also, you can write a letter to her if you feel you can't talk to her about it face to face. Or a friend can go with you.
Some abortion clinics operate unethically and will do an abortion on you without your parents' permission, but this is really a violation of your right to the protection of your parents. Your parents also know things about your medical history that could make an abortion exceptionally dangerous for you, that you may not know.
I would like to urge you NOT to get an abortion. The chances of hurting yourself or them hurting you very badly are great. There are better answers. No matter what you decide to do, it won't be easy. Lots of people think abortion is easy. It's not.
Among other things, you could be seriously injured or killed at the time. You could lose your ability to have children. You could have a nasty hemorrhage and require a blood transfusion or hysterectomy. You could suffer serious emotional repercussions. The chance of violent death in the year following abortion is more than three times as great as it would be if you carry your baby to term. You can also make yourself vulnerable to breast cancer. If you have breast cancer in your family, it is a virtual certainty. An abortion could make it impossible for you to be able to carry a baby to term. Extreme prematurity and miscarriage are 400% greater following abortion. Extreme prematurity is a leading cause of cerebral palsy and injuries to the brain. There are many other things that can go wrong.
If you get hurt, your mom will find out anyway. If you suffer any kind of emotional damage, she may also find out. Having an abortion to keep your pregnancy a secret is a bad idea. If your mom wants to try to coerce or force you into an abortion, we can help you. She has no right to do that. I don't know where she stands. She has a right to get upset, and she will almost certainly do so. However, in the long run, MOST mothers are very supportive. One of my sons slept with a woman who had a baby, and they're not married. I have six grandchildren altogether, and I love this one just as much as the others. He is precious to me!
So I urge you not to consider abortion. There are better answers, and you deserve better. I will be here for you, and you may ask more questions if you wish. Please stay safe!
