Questioni am 49 day pregnant,i went to gynaecologist and she has presicred me mifepristone and misoprostol tablet.i have had rocky relationship with my boyfriend.i do not want to marry for wrong reasons.he has never penetrated into my private organ ,i got pregnant because of some of his semen on my private organ.we always use to have oral sex.i wanted to know,whether in future my husband can know about my abortion,is there any way a gyanecologist find out about my abortion in future and am i still a virgin.please guide me.how can my future husband know about my past.how can i save my future
AnswerHello, sohini,
If you haven't taken those pills yet, PLEASE don't take them! They will probably not work anyway. It is too late in your pregnancy for them to tend to work.
I am getting a lot of information from India that women are bleeding to death after taking those pills. Your future isn't going to matter to you if you are dead.
It is unreal to me how careless people are with women's lives in India. It makes me feel a sense of outrage!
Oral sex is also very dangerous. You can get a nasty disease from it. Why are you even letting this man use you for his own pleasure? If you want a future, get away from men like that!
If you HAVE taken these pills, IMMEDIATELY get yourself some cayenne red hot pepper and some cranesbill if you can. Start taking them. You can also eat spicy food provided it has cayenne red hot pepper in it. Many curries don't have red pepper in them. If you start to bleed heavily, go IMMEDIATELY to the doctor or the hospital. Go to someone other than the person who gave you the tablets. She cannot be trusted. She gave you misoprostol, and misoprostol is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GIVEN to a pregnant woman. The manufacturer explicitly said so. She has committed malpractice in my opinion. So find another doctor. I don't care how much it costs, or where you have to go. Just GO. Your life is in danger.
Your question about your virginity is a tough one, to my mind. Technically, your hymen is intact. But can it be said that mentally you are still a virgin? I don't know. You are sexually experienced. Perhaps a future husband won't see anything but your body, and whether or not your hymen is intact. But because it is so late in your pregnancy, it's very possible that if you go for any other kind of abortion (and if the pills don't work, and at 49 days, they are unlikely to work), you will be pressured to have a surgical abortion. And during the course of a surgical abortion, it's likely they'll break your hymen anyway.
Once you have recovered, then you can think about what to do about finding a husband who will accept you. I don't know what religion you are. But there are men who are Christians who may accept a woman in your position and marry you and cherish you. I don't know about Hindu or Muslim men. There is no concept of forgiveness, especially in Islam. Because of the concept of karma, the idea of forgiveness is probably not well developed in the Hindu religion, either. You may well have to turn over a new leaf. Consider the Christian faith. It will also help you with the emotional and spiritual consequences of what you have been through.
Now to answer your question about whether your husband can find out you had an abortion. I have been told that if you have a pill abortion, there is no way to tell. However, a pill abortion will make you highly susceptible to breast cancer. A surgical abortion will also. There are ways to tell a woman has had a surgical abortion. It also causes damage that can harm your future children. For one thing, when they do a surgical abortion, they force open a woman's cervix while it is tightly closed. This causes many micro tears, which weaken it, and as a result, some women become incapable of carrying a child to term. The weight of the child isn't held by a weakened cervix. The remedy is for the doctor to fasten the cervix shut, so you will have to tell your doctor you have had an abortion, and the doctor needs to tell you how to recognize if labor is starting early. At the time of birth, it can cause a couple of problems. One of them is placenta previa. This is caused by the fact that an abortion causes scars to form in the uterus. The baby may not be able to find a suitable place to implant. The result will be that the baby will implant too low in your uterus, so that the placenta will grow near or over the opening to the cervix. (It should be possible for the doctor to locate the placenta with an ultrasound late in pregnancy.) It can rip loose during labor and both of you could bleed to death. The remedy is a Caesarian section. Caesarians are also very risky, however. The other thing that can happen is prolonged labor. This may also make a Caesarian necessary.
Even though it's not the way you want to go, and you are very much afraid, the safest thing to do is to leave things alone and go ahead and have your baby. Whether you raise your baby after that or let someone else raise him or her is certainly up to you. But there are far too many dangers from abortion, and right now the least of your worries is what your future husband might think.
Please take care of yourself, and stay safe. Let me know how you do. I will pray for you.
