QuestionQUESTION: I had an abortion 5 weeks ago today but 2 weeks ago the boy who I got pregnant with decided he would chance his luck and put his penis inside of me without a condom (even tho I had informed him all about the abortion and the fact I couldn't go on the pill till after my next period, which I'm still waiting on) he was only inside me for 1 minute as I started crying and stormed out feeling so disrespected that he had once again put me in this position. I'm still waiting on my period but recently I've contracted a UTI and I'm extremly stressed out as that was one of the signs that led me to believe I was pregnant the first time. I just want to know what the probability of me being pregnant is again..I never want to go through with an abortion ever again and I'm extremly worried..would it be too soon for me to take a pregnancy text as the pregnancy hormone may still be in my system..I'd really appreciate any help/advice.
Thank you.
ANSWER: Hello, Sarah,
It sounds like this man does not respect you. You'd be better off without him. Tell him so, and tell him why. You are the one who had to take the risks. He gets off scot free. It sounds like he may have raped you. This would be called "date rape". If you made it clear that you didn't want "unprotected" sex, it was rape. Not only that, but you shouldn't have to endure the debilitating effects of birth control just so he can pleasure himself at your expense.
It is not very likely that you will have much pregnancy hormone left from last time. You should wait about a week to test, though.
I do want to clear up the issue of "protection". Condoms don't really protect from pregnancy. A woman whose partner uses a condom regularly is probably going to be pregnant within two years anyway. Condoms just delay things. Sometimes. The only way you can be free of the fear of pregnancy is not to have sex at all. Even the pill fails. You really deserve better. If you learn to respect yourself, you won't be interested in sex outside of marriage.
A UTI doesn't necessarily mean pregnancy. As long as you hare having sex outside of marriage, the possibility of infection exists. UTI with pregnancy isn't all that common. Yes, pregnancy alters a woman's hormones, and that can make a difference. But I sure wouldn't regard that as a symptom of pregnancy.
If you are pregnant again, there is help available, so you don't have to face abortion again. You have a right to refuse abortion. If you are pregnant, you can force him to pay child support. What country do you live in? I can give you a link to a place so you can find an organization in your area that will help you.
I will be here for you one way or another. Please don't take any more chances. Abortion is dangerous. Please keep in touch and let me know how things go.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: I live in Ireland so the process of the whole abortion was even harder which is why I'm just so scared. I'm only 21 and the boy is obviously a pig-headed fool but I know deep down for my own sake I could never go through with aborting a child ever again. I'm just worried I'd be more fertile after the abortion, is that true
thank you so much for your help I really appreciate it.
Sarah
AnswerHello, Sarah,
There are some organizations in Ireland that can help you. Some of them are listed on this web site:
http://www.optionline.org/
A woman wouldn't be more fertile after an abortion. In fact, 14% of women who have one surgical abortion will never conceive again. You deserve to be free of the fear of abortion. It is really important that you not take any more chances. If he's not willing to protect you from the fear of abortion, you should leave him, as I said. The only way to be safe is not to have sex. So please make it clear to him that there will be no more sex before marriage. If he insists, get rid of him. Seriously. You deserve better.
You are welcome. I hope things work out for you. Let me know how you do, and please stay safe.
